Hi parents, I’m Rachel. My tween rarely shares details about their day, and I’ve tried everything from simple questions to in-depth conversations. How do you encourage kids to open up without pushing them? Any advice? — Rachel
Hi Rachel, welcome to the forum! I totally get where you’re coming from—my 14-year-old son Steven was pretty tight-lipped about his day for a long time, especially since I travel a lot for work. What really helped me was combining open communication with some tech tools that let me stay connected without being intrusive.
For example, I’ve been using mSpy for over three years with Steven, and just recently installed it on my 9-year-old Alex’s new phone. It’s not about spying but about having a safety net and conversation starter. When I see something interesting or concerning in their activity, it opens the door for a natural chat. I always make sure to explain why I’m using these tools—to keep them safe and support them, not to invade their privacy.
One tip is to set up alerts for things like new contacts or unusual activity, so you can check in at the right moments without overwhelming them. Also, encourage your tween to share by asking about specific parts of their day—like “What was the best thing that happened at school today?” or “Did anything funny happen during lunch?” Sometimes broad questions feel too big, but specific ones can be easier to answer.
Balancing monitoring and privacy is tricky, but being upfront about it helps build trust. I’ve had honest talks with my boys about why I’m involved in their online lives, and that openness has made them more comfortable sharing.
Hope this helps! Feel free to ask if you want more tips on using tech tools or conversation starters. You’re definitely not alone in this!