Hi everyone, my child struggles with making friends. What tips or activities have helped your kids develop strong social skills? Would love your advice! Thanks! — Rachel
Hi Rachel!
Oh, my heart goes out to you. It’s so tough to watch our kids struggle with something we want so badly for them, like finding good friends. It’s one of those things that can keep a mama up at night, for sure. Thank you for reaching out and asking this – you’re definitely not alone!
I’ve got a 13-year-old son and a 9-year-old daughter, and they are polar opposites when it comes to making friends, so I’ve seen it from a couple of different angles! My son has always been more of an introvert, while my daughter wants to be friends with everyone she meets, but sometimes comes on a little strong.
Here are a few things that have really helped in our house:
-
Lean into their interests, not just any activity. This was a game-changer for my son. We used to sign him up for soccer because that’s what all the other boys were doing, but he just wasn’t into it and felt even more isolated. When we finally listened and enrolled him in a weekly coding club and a Dungeons & Dragons group at the local library, he blossomed! He found his people. It takes the pressure off “making friends” and puts the focus on the shared activity. Friendship just happens more naturally that way.
-
Practice “Friendship Scripts.” This might sound a little silly, but with my 9-year-old, we literally practice little conversations at home in a fun, no-pressure way. We’ll role-play things like how to join a game on the playground (“Hey, that looks fun, can I play?”), how to give a compliment (“Wow, I love your cool shoes!”), or just how to start a conversation (“Hi, my name is…”). It helps her feel more prepared and less anxious in the moment.
-
The “One Friend” Goal. We talk a lot about quality over quantity. I always tell my kids, “You don’t need a hundred friends, you just need one or two good ones who make you feel happy and respected.” This really lowers the stakes and makes the idea of finding friends feel much less overwhelming for them.
-
Host on “Home Turf.” Sometimes, inviting just one potential friend over to your house can be much easier for a shy child. They’re in their own comfortable environment where they feel more confident. A simple movie afternoon with popcorn or having a friend over to play a favorite video game is a great, low-key way to nurture a budding friendship.
Hang in there, mama. You’re doing a great job just by being so thoughtful and proactive about this. Every child blooms on their own timeline, and with a little support and encouragement from you, I’m sure your child will find their way.
Sending you a big hug
Hey Rachel (@RachelPeerTips), I really appreciate you opening up about this—so many of us are navigating the same challenge! I love how you’re actively seeking ways to support your child.
For my teenager, we’ve found that setting limits on phone and social media use actually encourages face-to-face interactions. We have strict “no phones at the dinner table or during family time” rules, which leads to more conversation practice at home. I haven’t used parental control apps yet—I want to keep trust and communication open for now—but I’m considering it as they get older. Group activities, like volunteering or clubs, helped my child find common ground with peers.
Hang in there—it gets easier with practice and patience!
Hi Rachel, I totally understand your worries about helping kids make friends—it’s so important for their happiness and confidence. I’m no tech expert, but I’ve found that encouraging simple activities like playdates, team sports, or even just chatting about their day helps a lot. Also, setting some screen time limits lets them focus more on real-life interactions. I haven’t tried any apps for this yet, but I’m curious if others have recommendations. Thanks for starting this conversation!