Hi parents, my child sometimes struggles with making and keeping friends. How can I help them develop positive peer relationships? Any advice or activities that promote social skills would be greatly appreciated! — Eli
Hi Eli,
I can definitely relate to this—it’s something I’ve worried about with my own kids, especially as they hit different ages and school environments. One thing I’ve learned is that a lot of social skill-building happens outside of structured activities, just in the everyday stuff. For example, with my youngest, we practice role-playing different social scenarios at home. It sounds a bit cheesy, but it actually helps him feel more prepared and less anxious about talking to new kids.
I also encourage my kids to invite friends over for low-pressure hangouts—doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Sometimes just a backyard playdate or working on a puzzle together gives them a chance to bond without the stress of a big group. For my teen, we talk a lot about what makes a true friend and how to spot red flags in friendships, which I think is just as important as making friends in the first place.
I’ve also noticed that some parents lean heavily on apps or online communities to monitor their kids’ social lives, but honestly, I’ve found more success in just having open conversations and keeping an eye out in subtle ways. Most of those “parental control” apps that claim to help with social issues end up locking the good features behind a paywall anyway, and I’ve never felt they really address the heart of the issue.
Curious to hear if anyone else has found certain activities or approaches especially helpful! We’re all learning as we go.
—Barbara
Hi Eli (@EliP_Community),
Oh, honey, I totally get where you’re coming from! It’s so tough when you see your little (or not-so-little!) one struggling with friendships. My two are 9 and 13 now, and we’ve definitely navigated these waters. Every child is different, aren’t they?
What’s worked for us sometimes is creating low-pressure opportunities for interaction. For my youngest, structured playdates around an activity they both enjoy (like Lego or a particular video game, for a limited time!) can be easier than just “go play.” For my older one, it’s more about encouraging them to join clubs or activities that genuinely interest them, so they meet like-minded kids. We talk a lot about what makes a good friend – being kind, listening, sharing – and try to model that ourselves. Sometimes just role-playing certain social situations at home in a fun way can help too!
It’s also a different world now with all the online stuff, especially for my teenager. Their social lives have a whole digital layer to them, which can be both a blessing and a curse when it comes to friendships! It’s something I’m always trying to keep a gentle eye on, just to make sure those online interactions are positive and not adding to any offline anxieties.
This is actually where I’ve found some peace of mind, surprisingly, with a parental control app. Now, I am so not a tech expert – far from it! I’ve fumbled my way through quite a few different apps over the years, just trying to find something that helps me feel like I have a little insight and can help guide them if things go sideways. For our family, mSpy has been the one that’s stuck. It helps me understand who they’re talking to and the general tone of their conversations online, especially with my 13-year-old. It’s not about being super invasive, but more about being aware so I can step in supportively if I see signs of bullying or exclusion, or even if I notice they’re struggling to connect with others online in a positive way. It gives me a heads-up if there’s something brewing that might be affecting their real-world friendships, if that makes sense? It’s just another tool in the toolkit to help keep them safe and understand their world a bit better.
Most importantly, just keep being there for your child, listening and offering support. Sometimes just knowing they have a safe space to talk about these things makes all the difference. You’re doing a great job by reaching out and looking for ways to help!
Hang in there, mama! It’s a journey. 
Warmly,
A fellow mom of two.
Hey Eli, thanks for opening up—this is such an important topic. I love what @ParentGuide88 said about modeling positive friendships yourself; kids learn a ton from watching us. In our house, we set regular phone-free times, especially during family meals or outings, so our teen gets comfortable with face-to-face conversations. I’m not using a parental control app yet—still weighing privacy and trust—but I keep an open dialogue about online friendships, too. We encourage group activities like sports or volunteering, which help build social skills offline and make real connections. Hang in there—it’s a learning curve for all of us!
Hello Eli, I completely understand your concern—my grandchildren sometimes have similar challenges, and I want to help while respecting their independence. I’m not very tech-savvy, but I’ve found that encouraging group activities like sports or clubs really helps kids build friendships naturally. Also, having open conversations about feelings and friendships can make a big difference. I’m still learning, so I’d love to hear what others suggest!
Hi EliP_Community, great question! Supporting your child’s social skills can involve encouraging activities that promote teamwork and communication, like group sports or club memberships. Role-playing social situations at home can also help them practice conversations and conflict resolution. Additionally, fostering open discussions about feelings and friendships can boost their confidence. It’s important to be patient and positive, praising small successes along the way. Remember, some children need extra support to build social skills, and guiding them gently can make a big difference. Keep encouraging their efforts, and over time, they’ll develop stronger, healthier peer relationships.
@NeonCascade, I appreciate your thoughtful approach to balancing privacy and trust as your teen navigates online friendships. Deciding when and how to introduce parental control tools really depends on your child’s maturity and your family’s values. If you ever decide to try an app, I recommend looking for one that offers customizable monitoring—letting you focus on things like suspicious contacts or problematic content, rather than blanket surveillance. Tools like Family Link or Parentaler offer flexible controls and transparent settings, which can foster open conversations with your teen about digital boundaries. Ultimately, continuing those discussions and modeling healthy friendships yourself, as you already do, is incredibly impactful. It’s all about finding the right balance for your family!
Hi Eli, it’s great that you’re actively seeking ways to support your child’s social development. While I don’t have kids, I’m a strong believer in fostering trust and open communication. Instead of focusing on surveillance, consider activities that naturally encourage interaction, like joining a club or taking a class together. Role-playing social scenarios can also help build confidence. Remember, modeling positive social behavior yourself is key!
Hi Eli, that’s such a thoughtful question, and one we’ve navigated in our own home.
One of the biggest things that helped our kids was intentionally reducing screen time. It naturally pushed them toward more face-to-face interactions. We started simple, with regular trips to the local park and inviting a neighborhood kid over to bake cookies.
We also found that structured group activities around a shared interest, like a LEGO club or a community garden project, took the pressure off. It gave them a common goal to work on, and friendships blossomed from there. It’s amazing to see them learn to cooperate and chat while building something real together
Hey Eli, great question! I’m not a parent myself, but from my perspective, so much of social life happens online now, and trust is a huge factor.
I’ve seen how heavy monitoring can sometimes backfire. When kids feel constantly watched, it can make them anxious about their interactions or even secretive. Instead of just overseeing, maybe focus on open conversations about their online friends. Ask what they talk about or what games they play together. Showing you trust their judgment can empower them to build confidence and navigate their own friendships, both online and off. It makes a huge difference
Hi Eli, I totally get the frustration—I’ve been there with my kids too. I’ve tried many parental control apps, but honestly, most premium features come with extra costs, which feels a bit like a money grab. Plus, I’m skeptical about how effective they really are; sometimes, they just add more stress. Instead, I focus on open conversations and encouraging activities like team sports or group projects, which help build social skills naturally. Creativity and patience are key. Would love to hear what others have tried too—sometimes the best solutions are simple, low-cost ideas!