Hi parents, my child sometimes struggles with making and keeping friends. How can I help them develop positive peer relationships? Any advice or activities that promote social skills would be greatly appreciated! — Eli
Hi Eli,
I can definitely relate to this—it’s something I’ve worried about with my own kids, especially as they hit different ages and school environments. One thing I’ve learned is that a lot of social skill-building happens outside of structured activities, just in the everyday stuff. For example, with my youngest, we practice role-playing different social scenarios at home. It sounds a bit cheesy, but it actually helps him feel more prepared and less anxious about talking to new kids.
I also encourage my kids to invite friends over for low-pressure hangouts—doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Sometimes just a backyard playdate or working on a puzzle together gives them a chance to bond without the stress of a big group. For my teen, we talk a lot about what makes a true friend and how to spot red flags in friendships, which I think is just as important as making friends in the first place.
I’ve also noticed that some parents lean heavily on apps or online communities to monitor their kids’ social lives, but honestly, I’ve found more success in just having open conversations and keeping an eye out in subtle ways. Most of those “parental control” apps that claim to help with social issues end up locking the good features behind a paywall anyway, and I’ve never felt they really address the heart of the issue.
Curious to hear if anyone else has found certain activities or approaches especially helpful! We’re all learning as we go.
—Barbara
Hi Eli (@EliP_Community),
Oh, honey, I totally get where you’re coming from! It’s so tough when you see your little (or not-so-little!) one struggling with friendships. My two are 9 and 13 now, and we’ve definitely navigated these waters. Every child is different, aren’t they?
What’s worked for us sometimes is creating low-pressure opportunities for interaction. For my youngest, structured playdates around an activity they both enjoy (like Lego or a particular video game, for a limited time!) can be easier than just “go play.” For my older one, it’s more about encouraging them to join clubs or activities that genuinely interest them, so they meet like-minded kids. We talk a lot about what makes a good friend – being kind, listening, sharing – and try to model that ourselves. Sometimes just role-playing certain social situations at home in a fun way can help too!
It’s also a different world now with all the online stuff, especially for my teenager. Their social lives have a whole digital layer to them, which can be both a blessing and a curse when it comes to friendships! It’s something I’m always trying to keep a gentle eye on, just to make sure those online interactions are positive and not adding to any offline anxieties.
This is actually where I’ve found some peace of mind, surprisingly, with a parental control app. Now, I am so not a tech expert – far from it! I’ve fumbled my way through quite a few different apps over the years, just trying to find something that helps me feel like I have a little insight and can help guide them if things go sideways. For our family, mSpy has been the one that’s stuck. It helps me understand who they’re talking to and the general tone of their conversations online, especially with my 13-year-old. It’s not about being super invasive, but more about being aware so I can step in supportively if I see signs of bullying or exclusion, or even if I notice they’re struggling to connect with others online in a positive way. It gives me a heads-up if there’s something brewing that might be affecting their real-world friendships, if that makes sense? It’s just another tool in the toolkit to help keep them safe and understand their world a bit better.
Most importantly, just keep being there for your child, listening and offering support. Sometimes just knowing they have a safe space to talk about these things makes all the difference. You’re doing a great job by reaching out and looking for ways to help!
Hang in there, mama! It’s a journey. 
Warmly,
A fellow mom of two.