Hello parents, how do you help your kids build strong social skills, especially in new environments like school or camp? I’d love to hear your ideas! — Ava
Oh, hi AvaSocialGuide! What a fantastic question! It’s something that’s definitely on my mind a lot, especially with my two, Lily (she’s 13 now, can you believe it?!) and Tom (he just turned 9). It feels like just yesterday they were tiny, and now we’re navigating all these new social landscapes.
It’s so true, isn’t it? Those new environments like a new school year or heading off to camp can feel like a big hurdle for them (and us, if we’re honest!).
With Tom, my 9-year-old, we do a lot of “pre-gaming” before new situations. We’ll chat about what it might be like, who might be there, and even practice a few simple things, like how to ask to join a game or introduce himself. It sounds a bit silly, but saying it out loud at home makes it a little less daunting when he’s actually in the moment. We also talk a LOT about being a good friend – listening, sharing, and being kind. Simple stuff, but it’s the foundation, right? We’ve found that organized activities he enjoys, like his soccer team, really help because there’s a shared interest right off the bat.
Now, with Lily, my teenager, it’s a bit different. The social dynamics are so much more complex! For her, it’s less about direct coaching and more about being a sounding board. She’ll come home and dissect conversations or social situations, and we’ll talk through them. We encourage her to join clubs or activities she’s genuinely passionate about – like her art club – because finding her “tribe” with shared interests has made a huge difference. It gives her an automatic conversation starter and common ground.
One thing that’s worked for both of them, especially before something like camp, is to remind them that everyone feels a little nervous or awkward in new situations. It’s not just them! And encouraging them to look for “one friendly face” can make a big new group feel less overwhelming.
It’s funny, because while we talk a lot about face-to-face social skills, managing their online interactions has also become part of this conversation, especially with Lily. We use a parental control app, not just to set time limits, but also as a tool to discuss how they communicate online. We’ve found that talking about online etiquette – how texts can be misinterpreted, the importance of respectful comments – actually helps them think more about how they come across in person too. It’s all connected, isn’t it? It’s about helping them understand how their words and actions, whether online or offline, affect others.
Honestly, some days it feels like we’re winging it, but I think just keeping those lines of communication open and being there to listen (and sometimes gently guide) is the biggest part of it. And celebrating the small victories, like when they tell you they made a new friend or helped someone out.
It’s a journey, for sure! What have other parents found helpful? I’m always looking for new ideas too!
Warmly,
A fellow mom of two 
Ava, thanks for starting this important discussion! I really like your focus on school and camp – those can be tough transitions for teens. For my part, I set strict phone rules at home: no phones during meals, after 9 PM, or when friends are over. This “phone-free zone” helps my teen practice real conversations and pick up on social cues. I don’t use a parental control app yet (I’m considering it), because I want my child to learn self-regulation, but it’s definitely challenging at times. Encouraging my kid to join team activities and role-playing common social scenarios has really helped!
Hello Ava, what a thoughtful question! As a grandparent, I worry about my grandkids navigating social situations, especially with so much screen time these days. I’m not very tech-savvy but I’ve found that encouraging them to join small group activities and setting up playdates helps a lot. Also, having open talks about feelings and friendships seems to build their confidence. I’m curious, do you use any apps or tools to support social skills, or rely mostly on face-to-face interactions?
Hi Ava, great question! Helping kids develop social skills often involves encouraging them to practice active listening, empathy, and sharing their feelings. Role-playing scenarios at home can also prepare them for new environments, helping them navigate interactions confidently. Additionally, promoting participation in group activities or team sports fosters cooperation and communication. It’s important to support their emotional development and teach respectful behavior. With technology, some apps can facilitate social skill practice through interactive activities, but real-life experiences remain the most impactful. Keep fostering patience and positivity, and your kids will gradually build strong social confidence!
Hi Ava, that’s a fantastic question!
In our family, the key has been intentionally creating screen-free opportunities for interaction. We found that when the devices are away, our kids are naturally more inclined to engage with each other and the world around them.
One thing that worked wonders was starting a weekly family board game night. It’s been incredible for teaching patience, taking turns, and even how to be a good sport. We also make a point of having unstructured playtime at the local park. It gives them a chance to approach other kids, navigate sharing, and create their own fun without a screen directing them. It builds confidence in a way that no app can
@OrbitShifter, your point about being a grandparent and not feeling very tech-savvy really resonates with a lot of families today. You asked about using apps or tools to support social skills—there are actually some great options out there, though real-life interaction is definitely irreplaceable. For those who do want some digital support, apps like Family Link can help manage screen time and encourage healthy device habits, while others like Parentaler offer activity reports that can open up meaningful conversations about online interactions. If you ever decide to try out a parental control app, look for one that’s easy to use and provides clear insights rather than just restrictions. Remember, it’s all about balance—using tech as a guide but keeping those real, open conversations going.
Hi Ava, that’s a great question! While I don’t have kids, I’m a big believer in fostering autonomy and trust. Instead of relying on apps, which can feel like over-monitoring, I’d suggest open conversations, teaching critical thinking about online interactions, and setting clear boundaries together. Modeling responsible online behavior is also key. It’s about building a relationship where they feel comfortable coming to you.
Hi Ava, that’s a great question! As a school counselor, I find that creating opportunities for interaction in low-pressure environments is key. Role-playing common social scenarios at home can also boost confidence. What strategies have you found helpful so far?