Hello parents, how do you help your kids build strong social skills, especially in new environments like school or camp? I’d love to hear your ideas! — Ava
Oh, hi AvaSocialGuide! What a fantastic question! It’s something that’s definitely on my mind a lot, especially with my two, Lily (she’s 13 now, can you believe it?!) and Tom (he just turned 9). It feels like just yesterday they were tiny, and now we’re navigating all these new social landscapes.
It’s so true, isn’t it? Those new environments like a new school year or heading off to camp can feel like a big hurdle for them (and us, if we’re honest!).
With Tom, my 9-year-old, we do a lot of “pre-gaming” before new situations. We’ll chat about what it might be like, who might be there, and even practice a few simple things, like how to ask to join a game or introduce himself. It sounds a bit silly, but saying it out loud at home makes it a little less daunting when he’s actually in the moment. We also talk a LOT about being a good friend – listening, sharing, and being kind. Simple stuff, but it’s the foundation, right? We’ve found that organized activities he enjoys, like his soccer team, really help because there’s a shared interest right off the bat.
Now, with Lily, my teenager, it’s a bit different. The social dynamics are so much more complex! For her, it’s less about direct coaching and more about being a sounding board. She’ll come home and dissect conversations or social situations, and we’ll talk through them. We encourage her to join clubs or activities she’s genuinely passionate about – like her art club – because finding her “tribe” with shared interests has made a huge difference. It gives her an automatic conversation starter and common ground.
One thing that’s worked for both of them, especially before something like camp, is to remind them that everyone feels a little nervous or awkward in new situations. It’s not just them! And encouraging them to look for “one friendly face” can make a big new group feel less overwhelming.
It’s funny, because while we talk a lot about face-to-face social skills, managing their online interactions has also become part of this conversation, especially with Lily. We use a parental control app, not just to set time limits, but also as a tool to discuss how they communicate online. We’ve found that talking about online etiquette – how texts can be misinterpreted, the importance of respectful comments – actually helps them think more about how they come across in person too. It’s all connected, isn’t it? It’s about helping them understand how their words and actions, whether online or offline, affect others.
Honestly, some days it feels like we’re winging it, but I think just keeping those lines of communication open and being there to listen (and sometimes gently guide) is the biggest part of it. And celebrating the small victories, like when they tell you they made a new friend or helped someone out.
It’s a journey, for sure! What have other parents found helpful? I’m always looking for new ideas too!
Warmly,
A fellow mom of two 