Hi parents, how do you approach sensitive topics with your children in a productive way? Any tips are welcome! Thanks! — Ethan
Hi Ethan, that’s a really important question, and one I grapple with constantly with my three (15, 10, and 6!). It feels like every other day there’s something new to discuss, especially with all the stuff they can run into online.
You know, it’s funny, a lot of folks talk about parental control apps – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried a few – but so many of the genuinely useful features are locked behind a subscription. It’s frustrating! And honestly, no app can replace a real conversation, can it? I’m a bit skeptical that an app can truly teach them the ‘why’ behind the rules or help navigate those tricky feelings when they see something upsetting.
For us, one thing that helps is trying to create regular opportunities for them to talk, not just when there’s a ‘problem’. We try for tech-free dinners a few times a week, and you’d be surprised what comes out when they’re not glued to a screen. It’s amazing what you can learn just by being present without devices between you. That’s when those sensitive topics sometimes surface naturally, or when I can gently bring something up.
With my eldest, it’s more about direct, albeit sometimes awkward, chats about what he’s seeing or hearing from friends, especially online. I try to ask open-ended questions rather than lecturing (easier said than done, believe me!). With the younger ones, it’s simpler language, more about ‘safe people’ and ‘icky feelings’ if they see something online that bothers them, and reassuring them they can always come to me.
The main thing I’ve found is just being there and trying to keep the lines of communication open, even if they roll their eyes (especially the teenager!). It’s definitely not easy, and I’m always looking for better ways. Sometimes I feel like I’m just winging it!
I’d be really interested to hear what strategies other parents are using, especially if you’ve found ways that don’t break the bank or rely solely on tech. What works for you all when it comes to these tough talks?
Hi Ethan! 
Oh, this is such a great question and one that I think every parent can relate to. “Difficult conversations” – yep, that’s the name of the game sometimes, isn’t it? Thanks for bringing it up! Navigating these chats, especially around things like online safety which comes up a LOT with the parental control apps we use for our devices, is always an adventure in our house.
With my two, a 9-year-old (Lily) and a 13-year-old (Sam), it’s definitely a different ball game for each! What works for my chatty Lily often needs a completely different approach for my more thoughtful (and sometimes monosyllabic, ha!) teenage son. But here are a few things I’ve picked up along the way that seem to help:
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Picking the Right Moment (and Mood!): I’ve learned the hard way that trying to dive into something heavy when anyone’s tired, hungry, stressed, or rushing out the door is usually a non-starter. For us, sometimes those casual moments work best – in the car, while prepping dinner together, or even during a walk. For Lily, it might be while we’re drawing. For Sam, often the best chats happen when he brings something up, even if it’s indirectly. I try to jump on those little openings!
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Age-Appropriate Honesty: I really try to be as honest as I can, but I definitely tailor the information and language to their age and understanding.
- With Lily (9), I keep it simpler, focusing on feelings, safety, and clear “why’s.” When we talk about online stuff, for example, it’s more about “some people online aren’t who they say they are, so we don’t share our full name or where we live with strangers” and “this app has a timer because too much screen time can make our brains feel fuzzy.”
- With Sam (13), we can get into more complex discussions. He’s at an age where he wants to understand the nuances, and he’s definitely more likely to question things (which is good – it means he’s thinking!). We can talk more deeply about peer pressure, digital footprints, or the reasons behind certain family rules.
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Listen More, Talk Less: This is probably the biggest one for me, and honestly, the one I have to consciously work on! It’s so easy to go into “lecture mode.” I try to ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think about that?” or “How does that make you feel?” or “What have your friends said about this?” Sometimes just letting them talk, even if they stumble over their words, helps them process. And it shows them I value their perspective.
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It’s Okay Not to Have All the Answers: I used to feel like I needed to have the perfect, wise response to everything. Not anymore! Sometimes I’ll say, “That’s a really good question, honey. I’m not entirely sure, let’s think about that together,” or “Let me find out a bit more and we can talk about it again.” I think it’s good for them to see that we’re all learning.
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Make it an Ongoing Dialogue: Rarely are these topics a “one-and-done” conversation. Especially the big stuff! We often circle back to things as they get older, as new situations pop up, or as they have new questions. It feels more like planting seeds and nurturing them over time.
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Lead with Love and Reassurance: I always try to frame these conversations with “I love you, and I want you to be safe/happy/informed.” This helps them understand that even if the topic is uncomfortable, or if we’re setting a boundary (like with screen time or app usage, which our parental controls help manage), it’s coming from a place of care.
It’s definitely a journey, Ethan, and some conversations go more smoothly than others – believe me, I’ve had my share of awkward or abruptly ended ones! Don’t beat yourself up if a chat doesn’t go exactly as planned. The fact that you’re thoughtfully considering how to approach these sensitive topics already shows how much you care, and that’s huge.
It’s all about building that open communication and trust, which honestly makes even the trickier discussions, like why we use things like parental control apps, a bit easier because they understand it’s to help them navigate the world safely.
I’d love to hear what tips and tricks other parents have up their sleeves too! We’re all in this together.
Warmly,
A fellow mom 
Hi Ethan,
What an important question. Thank you for starting this conversation! It’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately, especially with my own grandchildren. I’m Danielle, and my grandkids, Liam (14) and Chloe (11), are diving deeper into the online world, and I find my heart is in my throat half the time!
For me, the most difficult conversation right now is about online safety. It’s such a tricky balance, isn’t it? You want to protect them from all the dangers out there, but you also want to respect their privacy and help them grow into independent, responsible young people. I’ll be honest, I’m not the most tech-savvy person, and it feels like they’re a million steps ahead of me, which is a worry in itself.
One thing my husband and I have found helpful is to not make it a big, scary “we need to talk” lecture. We try to bring it up casually. Just the other day, in the car on the way to Chloe’s soccer practice, I mentioned a story I saw on the news about a new social media trend and just asked, “Have you or your friends seen anything about that?” It opened up a surprisingly honest chat without making her feel like she was being interrogated.
We’ve also set some simple, non-negotiable boundaries that aren’t really about tech, but about family time. For example, we have a “no phones at the dinner table” rule, and all devices have to be put away in the kitchen to charge an hour before bedtime. It helps create natural breaks and keeps the bedroom a screen-free zone.
I’ve been reading up on parental control apps, though I haven’t taken the plunge and installed one yet. I’m a bit overwhelmed by the options! I’m looking for something that could help me set time limits and maybe filter out the really inappropriate content, but I don’t want to feel like I’m spying on their every move. A feature that could send an alert about a concerning topic without letting me read their private messages seems like a good middle ground. Have you or anyone else here had any luck with apps like that? I’d be so grateful for any recommendations.
Looking forward to hearing what other parents and grandparents have to share!
Warmly,
Danielle R. Newman
Hello Ethan,
What a wonderful and important question. This is something that has been on my mind a great deal lately, especially as a grandparent. It seems like the world my grandkids are growing up in is so much more complicated than the one I knew.
For me, the most difficult conversations are the ones about their safety online. It’s such a tricky balance, isn’t it? I worry so much and I just want to wrap them in cotton wool and protect them, but I also know they need to learn to navigate the world on their own and have their independence.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most tech-savvy person, so my approach has been less about technology and more about trust. The best tip I’ve discovered is to try and make these conversations a normal part of our chats. Instead of a big, scary “we need to talk” moment, I try to ask casually about what games they’re playing or what funny videos they’ve seen on YouTube. It helps me get a small peek into their world and opens the door for them to share things with me without feeling like they’re being interrogated.
We’ve also found that setting some simple, clear boundaries helps a lot. For example, a family rule is that all devices get charged in the kitchen overnight, not in bedrooms. It feels less like a restriction and more like a routine for everyone’s well-being.
On the tech side of things, I’m currently doing a lot of research into parental control apps. I haven’t used one yet because, honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming! I’m trying to find one that’s simple to use. I think a feature to help filter out inappropriate content and maybe set some time limits would be a godsend. I’m less interested in reading every single message—that feels a bit like spying to me—but I would like a way to be alerted to potential dangers. If anyone here has recommendations for an app that’s easy for a grandparent to get the hang of, I would be so grateful!
Thanks for bringing this up, Ethan. It’s a conversation we all need to be having. I’m looking forward to reading what others have to say.
Warmly,
Danielle R. Newman