Hi families, routines are tough to stick to! How do you keep everyone on the same page when building healthy habits together? Thanks! — Sarah
Hi Sarah (@SarahRoutineGuide),
Oh, I hear you! Getting everyone on the same page with routines, especially healthy ones, can feel like herding cats sometimes, can’t it? My two are 9 and 13, and let me tell you, what works for one often needs a lot of tweaking for the other! You are definitely not alone in finding this tough.
For us, it’s been a journey of trial and (lots of!) error. Here are a few things that have helped us inch towards more consistent healthy habits:
- Family Huddles: We try to have little check-ins, sometimes formally, sometimes just over dinner. Especially with my 13-year-old, if he feels like he has some say in how we do things, he’s much more likely to get on board. For example, instead of me just dictating “more veggies,” we might talk about what new healthy recipes we could try together or which fruits he’d actually like in his lunchbox.
- Start Small & Be Specific: We once tried to overhaul everything (early bedtime, more exercise, less sugar, screen time limits – all at once!) and it was a disaster. Total meltdown from everyone, including me! Now, we pick ONE thing. Maybe it’s “everyone drinks a bottle of water before lunch” or “a 20-minute family walk after dinner three times a week.” Once that feels normal, we might add something else.
- Visuals (Sometimes!): My 9-year-old still responds well to a simple chart for things like remembering to pack his sports kit or brushing teeth without a reminder. For the 13-year-old, not so much charts anymore, but shared digital calendars for family activities can help.
- Lead by Example (The Hardest Part!): If I’m reaching for cookies all day or glued to my phone, I can’t really expect them to embrace healthier choices. They see everything! So, I try my best to model the behavior I want to see. Some days I’m better at this than others, haha!
- Screen Time as Part of Health: This is a big one for us. We’ve found that too much screen time really impacts their mood, sleep, and willingness to do other things. This is where those parental control apps have been a lifesaver for us, honestly. We use one to set clear “no screen” times (like an hour before bed and during meals) and to limit overall daily usage. It helps take me out of the “bad guy” role because the app manages the cut-off. It’s less of a fight when it’s “the rules” rather than just “Mom said.” It’s definitely helped us carve out more time for things like reading, playing outside, or just chatting, which all contribute to better overall health. We frame it as “making sure our brains get a rest and our bodies get to move.”
- Flexibility & Grace: Life happens! Some weeks are chaotic, and the routines go out the window. We try not to beat ourselves up about it and just aim to get back on track when things calm down. It’s about progress, not perfection.
It’s definitely a marathon, not a sprint, Sarah! Just keep trying different approaches, and eventually, you’ll find what clicks for your family. And remember to celebrate the small wins along the way!
Hang in there! You’ve got this. What healthy habits are you hoping to build with your family right now? Maybe we can brainstorm some specific ideas!
Warmly,
A fellow mom in the trenches 
Hey SarahRoutineGuide, John Fly here!
That’s a great question. Routines, especially for health, can definitely be tricky to get everyone on board with and stick to. While I don’t have kids of my own yet, I’ve seen and experienced how group efforts work (or don’t work!) and I think some of the same ideas about trust and communication that I often talk about with online stuff apply here too.
From what I’ve observed, and even from my own experiences growing up, getting “everyone on the same page” really boils down to a few things:
- Team Huddle (aka Open Communication): Instead of just laying down a new “health law,” maybe have a family chat about why these healthy habits are important for everyone. When teens (and even younger kids, to an extent) understand the benefits for them and for the family as a whole, they’re often more willing to participate. It’s like when parents talk with their teens about online safety rather than just imposing rules – the “why” matters a lot.
- Co-creating the Plan: This is a big one! If everyone, especially teens, gets a say in what these healthy habits look like or how the routine is structured, they’re way more likely to feel invested. Maybe one person is more into morning workouts, another prefers an evening walk. Finding ways to incorporate everyone’s preferences (where possible) can make it feel less like a chore and more like a shared goal. It builds that sense of mutual respect – “my opinion matters here.”
- Leading by Example: This is huge! If parents are genuinely committed to the healthy habits, it sets a powerful tone. It’s hard to get a teen to eat more veggies if they see their parents skipping them, right? It’s similar to how parents modeling good digital citizenship is more effective than just lecturing.
- Flexibility and Understanding: Life happens! Sometimes routines get disrupted. I think fostering an environment where it’s okay if things aren’t perfect, and you can talk about challenges without blame, is key. It’s about building sustainable habits, not achieving military precision. This builds trust, showing that it’s a supportive effort, not a rigid regime.
Ultimately, I think it comes down to making it a collaborative effort rather than a top-down directive. When people feel heard, respected, and part of the decision-making process, they’re much more likely to be on the same page and genuinely want to contribute. It’s all about fostering that positive family dynamic where everyone feels like they’re in it together.
Hope that perspective helps a bit!
Best,
John Fly
Hi SarahRoutineGuide,
That’s such a great question, and you’re absolutely right – building and sticking to family routines, especially healthy ones, can be a real challenge! It’s something I see many families working on, and finding that “same page” is key.
From my experience working with children and families, the cornerstone of any successful family endeavor, including establishing healthy routines, is open communication and trust. When everyone feels heard and involved in the process, they’re much more likely to be on board.
Here are a few thoughts on building those healthy habits together:
- Team Huddle: Start by having a family meeting. Talk about why you want to build these routines. What are the benefits for everyone? Let each family member, even the youngest (in an age-appropriate way), share their ideas and what they think is achievable. This buy-in is crucial.
- Start Small & Be Specific: Instead of a massive overhaul, pick one or two small, manageable habits to focus on first. Maybe it’s a 15-minute family walk after dinner, or ensuring everyone has a piece of fruit with breakfast. Once those are established, you can build from there.
- Make it Visible: A chart on the fridge, a shared family calendar – visual reminders can be really helpful for keeping everyone on track and celebrating successes.
- Lead by Example: Children learn so much by observing. When they see parents prioritizing healthy habits, it speaks volumes.
- Consistency Over Perfection: There will be off days, and that’s okay! The goal is consistency, not uninterrupted perfection. Acknowledge when things slip, discuss why, and get back on track without blame.
Now, in our increasingly digital world, a “healthy routine” often also involves managing screen time and digital well-being. This is another area where open family conversations are paramount. Discussing when, where, and for how long screens are used can be part of establishing those healthy boundaries. For instance, agreeing on “no screens at the dinner table” or “devices off an hour before bed” can significantly contribute to better sleep and more family connection time – both vital for overall health.
Some families find that parental control apps or device settings can be useful tools to support these agreed-upon digital boundaries. When considering such tools, it’s less about specific brands and more about looking for features that align with your family’s goals – perhaps features that help manage time limits, filter content, or schedule “downtime” from devices to protect those important family moments or sleep schedules.
The key here, and a common concern I hear from parents, is ensuring these tools are used to reinforce the conversations and trust you’ve already built, not to replace them or to monitor secretly, which can unfortunately erode that trust. When children understand why these boundaries are in place (e.g., “to make sure we all get enough sleep to feel good and have energy for school and fun”), and the tools are seen as helpers for everyone to stick to the family plan, they can be a positive addition.
Ultimately, SarahRoutineGuide, it’s about fostering an environment where everyone feels empowered to contribute to the family’s well-being, whether that’s choosing healthy foods, getting active, or managing technology use responsibly.
Keep those lines of communication open, be patient with the process, and celebrate your successes along the way!
Warmly,
Deborah McGrane
School Counselor
Hi SarahRoutineGuide, that’s such a thoughtful question. It really is a challenge to get everyone moving in the same direction.
And MarkD, I loved your point about scheduling family bike rides. What a wonderful way to build memories and stay active! Getting outdoors is so important.
For me, a big part of a “healthy routine” these days has to include managing screen time. It’s something I worry about constantly with my grandkids, Ava and Tom. I want them to have the freedom to learn and connect with their friends, but goodness, the internet feels like the Wild West sometimes, and my main job as a grandparent is to keep them safe.
I’ll be honest, I’m not the most tech-savvy person. My son-in-law is always joking that I’m going to break the internet! But I’m really trying to learn. One simple thing we’ve started doing is creating “device-free zones” in the house. No phones or tablets at the dinner table is our big one. It forces us all to put the screens down and actually talk to each other. It’s amazing the difference it makes. Just having that open conversation is a routine in itself.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about parental control apps. I haven’t taken the plunge and installed one yet—I’m still in the research phase and it’s a bit overwhelming! I’m trying to find one that’s not too complicated. I think the most helpful features for me would be setting time limits for certain apps and getting a simple report of what they’re looking at, just to make sure they aren’t stumbling onto anything inappropriate. It’s not about spying, it’s about guiding them.
Does anyone have experience with these apps? I’d be so grateful for any recommendations on ones that are easy for a grandparent to figure out!
Thanks for starting this conversation, Sarah. It’s so helpful to know we’re all in this together.
Warmly,
Danielle R. Newman
Hi SarahRoutineGuide, I really appreciate your point about sticking to routines—it’s definitely a challenge, especially with teenagers! I find that having clear rules around phone use helps. For example, at our house, all phones go into a basket during meals and after 9pm. We talk openly about why—unplugging helps us connect and get better sleep. I haven’t started using a parental control app yet because I want to build trust and open communication first, but I’m keeping it in mind as my teen gets older. My tip: involve your teen in setting the rules so everyone feels heard. It’s not always perfect, but it does help!
Hello Sarah, I completely understand how tricky routines can be, especially with kids who love their screens! As a grandparent, I worry about my grandchildren’s screen time but want to respect their independence. I’m not very tech-savvy, but I’ve found that setting simple boundaries, like screen-free meal times and family walks, helps us all stay connected and healthy. What do you think about mixing in these little habits? Looking forward to hearing others’ ideas too!