Hi, Sophia here. My 7-year-old has been struggling with fears, especially at bedtime. How do you help your kids overcome their fears and feel more secure? Any advice would be appreciated! — Sophia
Hi Sophia, welcome to the forum! I completely get where you’re coming from—my youngest is 6, and nighttime fears are a regular guest in our house too.
Honestly, I’ve tried a bunch of different things, and I’ll admit, sometimes I get frustrated by all the “solutions” out there that want you to pay for some fancy app or gadget that promises peaceful sleep. I’m a bit skeptical of those. I just don’t see how an app (especially the ones where all the useful features are locked behind a paywall) could offer more comfort than a parent being present and listening.
What’s worked best for us is sticking to some low-tech, free methods:
- Routine, routine, routine: We keep a pretty consistent bedtime routine—bath, story, a little chat. It gives my kids a sense of predictability and control.
- Talking it out: I make time to talk about what’s worrying them, even if it feels silly to us adults. Sometimes just saying their fear out loud helps it seem less scary.
- Nightlights and comfort items: My daughter sleeps with a nightlight and her favorite stuffed animal. We even made a “worry box” where she can write or draw her worries and “lock them up” before bed.
- Staying close: If she’s really scared, I’ll sit outside her room for a bit or check on her every few minutes. She knows I’m nearby and that seems to help.
Other parents might have different tricks, but honestly, I think a lot of it is just showing them you’re there. If anyone else has some creative (and free!) ways to help their kids feel safer at night, I’d love to hear them too!
Hang in there, Sophia. You’re definitely not alone in this!
Hi Sophia,
It’s great that you’re reaching out for advice on how to help your 7-year-old with her fears. Bedtime fears are quite common at that age, and it’s wonderful that you’re looking for ways to support her.
While I don’t specialize in child psychology, I can offer some insights from a cybersecurity perspective, which might be relevant in today’s digital world. Sometimes, kids’ fears can be fueled by things they encounter online, even if it’s not immediately obvious.
Here are a few things to consider:
- Open Communication: Start by talking to your daughter about what specifically she’s afraid of. Sometimes, just voicing the fear can make it less overwhelming. Ask her if anything she’s seen online or heard from friends might be contributing to her anxiety.
- Limit Exposure to Scary Content: Be mindful of the content she’s accessing on devices. Even seemingly innocent videos or games can be unsettling for a young child. Parental control tools can be helpful for filtering content, but more importantly, have open conversations about what’s appropriate and what’s not.
- Create a Safe Digital Environment: Make sure your home network and devices are secure. A strong password and updated security software can give you both peace of mind. Explain to her that you’re taking steps to protect her from online threats, which can help her feel more secure in general.
- Establish a Bedtime Routine: A relaxing bedtime routine can do wonders for easing anxiety. This could include reading a book (avoiding scary stories, of course!), listening to calming music, or practicing simple relaxation techniques. Consider making the last hour before bed a screen-free time to minimize stimulation.
Remember, it’s essential to balance safety with respecting her privacy. Avoid secretly monitoring her online activity. Instead, work together to create a safe and positive online experience.
I hope these suggestions are helpful. It’s all about creating a supportive environment where she feels safe to express her fears and learn how to manage them.
Hi Sophia, Cathy here.
Oh, I completely understand what you’re going through with your 7-year-old and those bedtime fears. It’s so tough, especially when you’re navigating it all as a single parent and you’re already exhausted by the end of the day. I’ve definitely been there with my own kids. My youngest, Leo, had a really hard time with shadows and “monsters” for a while.
What helped us was a combination of things. We established a very consistent and calm bedtime routine – bath, story, quiet chat. We also did the classic “monster spray” (just water with a drop of lavender oil in a spray bottle!) which he could use to “protect” his room. Sometimes, just giving them a little bit of control like that can make a big difference. We also made sure to talk about his fears during the daytime, when he wasn’t feeling so overwhelmed by them. Drawing the “monsters” and then giving them silly hats or making them do funny dances sometimes took the scariness away.
One thing I’ve also learned, especially with us single parents juggling work and everything else, is how much their online experiences can sometimes feed into these anxieties. It’s nearly impossible to supervise every single click when you’re trying to make dinner, answer work emails, or just catch your breath, right? That’s actually one of the reasons I use the Eyezy app. It helps me get a clearer picture of what they’re seeing and doing online without me having to constantly peer over their shoulders – which, let’s be honest, I just don’t have the bandwidth for. If a new fear suddenly pops up, it gives me a chance to see if maybe they stumbled across something a bit too scary for their age online. It doesn’t magically solve the fear, of course, but it helps me understand potential triggers and address them, which simplifies things a lot and gives me a bit more peace of mind. Knowing I have that insight helps me stay calmer, and I think that helps them feel more secure too.
A couple of other things that work for us:
- Clear screen time rules: We have a “no screens” rule for at least an hour before bed. It really helps their brains wind down.
- Open communication: I always try to make sure they know they can talk to me about anything that’s scaring them, without feeling silly. Sometimes just saying it out loud helps.
It’s a tough gig, doing this solo, and finding what works can be a bit of trial and error. You’re doing a great job by reaching out and looking for ways to support your little one. Hang in there, Sophia! We’re all in this together, and you’ll find what works for your family. Sending you lots of support!