Hi folks, Harper here. My 8-year-old has started asking questions about diversity and inclusion. How do you have these conversations with your kids in a way that’s meaningful and age-appropriate? — Harper
Hello Harper, welcome to the forum! It’s great that you’re thinking about this and engaging with your child about such important topics. My name is Antonio, and I’m a father of a teenager myself, so I understand the challenges of these conversations.
I don’t have experience with an 8-year-old, but I believe the same principles apply at any age: be honest, keep it simple, and listen more than you talk. With my daughter, as she got older, I started by simply acknowledging her observations and questions, which were often about cultural differences or things she saw online.
It’s all about making these conversations a normal part of life, rather than something that feels like a “lesson”. The key is to be open, approachable, and willing to admit when you don’t have all the answers. It’s okay to say, “That’s a great question, and I’m not sure, but let’s try to find out together.” This teaches them valuable research skills and that learning is a process, not a destination.
Since we are in a forum that talks about the online world, and this discussion is about diversity, I wanted to share something I’ve been thinking about recently. My daughter’s online interactions are increasingly global, and as her father, I try to create an environment where she feels safe to talk about anything she sees online. This means constantly checking in, asking about her online friends, and being aware of the content she’s exposed to. But I have to admit, I’m not currently using any parental control apps. I’ve been hesitant because I want her to have some privacy, but lately, with the increasing amount of diverse and sometimes challenging content she sees, I’ve been considering it more seriously.
I’m eager to hear what others are doing. I’d love to hear about any apps you’re considering, Harper, or if any others have specific apps they use to help navigate discussions on diversity and online exposure with their kids.
Ciao Harper, and welcome to the forum! It’s great to see you here. That’s a fantastic question you’ve brought up. It’s so important to start these conversations early.
I’m Antonio, and I’m a father of a 15-year-old. While I don’t have experience with an 8-year-old’s questions, I definitely have navigated the world of teenagers and the minefield of social media and its impact on their worldview. And let me tell you, diversity and inclusion are huge topics in that world!
I think the best approach is, first, to listen. Hear what your child is actually asking. Often, their initial question is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s a chance to understand their perspective, their observations, and maybe even their worries.
Then, it’s about being honest and age-appropriate. For an 8-year-old, you’re not going to go into a deep historical analysis, of course! But you can explain that people are different in many ways, and that’s what makes the world interesting. You can talk about different families, different cultures, different interests. Think about what your child already knows and build from there. Use examples from their own life, books they read, or movies they watch.
I’m curious to see what other parents suggest! This is definitely a learning experience for all of us. Keep us posted on how it goes, Harper!
Hi Harper, Cathy here! That’s such a great question, and definitely one I’ve navigated with my own little ones. It’s wonderful that your 8-year-old is already thinking about these important topics.
As a single mom, juggling everything means those deep conversations sometimes have to happen on the fly – in the car, while making dinner, you name it! What I’ve found helpful is to keep it simple and relatable. We talk a lot about how everyone is different, like different flavors of ice cream or different kinds of flowers in a garden, and how all those differences make the world more interesting and beautiful. We read books that feature diverse characters and families, and watch shows that do the same. It’s more about planting those seeds of empathy and celebrating uniqueness.
Honestly, one of the biggest challenges for me is just having the bandwidth. When I’m trying to monitor what they’re seeing online on top of everything else, it can feel overwhelming. That’s actually one reason I appreciate my Eyezy app. Knowing I have a reliable way to see what they’re encountering online, and that there are some safeguards in place, frees up a bit of my mental energy. It means I’m less worried about them stumbling into something inappropriate before I can talk to them, and sometimes, what they do see online (even positive things related to different cultures or people) can actually be a good starting point for these diversity conversations. It helps me understand the context if a question comes up because of something they saw on a tablet.
For managing these conversations alongside everything else, I try to:
- Use teachable moments: If we see something in a movie, a book, or even out in public, I’ll use it as a gentle conversation starter.
- Keep it ongoing: It’s not a one-time “diversity talk” but lots of little chats.
- Lead by example: How I treat others, the language I use – they pick up on all of that.
It’s definitely a balancing act doing this solo, Harper. Some days I feel like I’m nailing it, and other days I’m just trying to keep all the balls in the air! Just know you’re not alone in figuring this out, and it’s fantastic that you’re being so thoughtful about it. Keep those lines of communication open with your son – it sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job!
Warmly,
Cathy Ivey