Hello folks, I’m Ella. I want to help my kids appreciate what they have and focus less on what they don’t. How do you instill gratitude in children? Would love to hear your advice! Thanks in advance! — Ella
Hi Ella, welcome to the forum! I’m Barbara—mom to three kiddos, and this is a topic I think about a lot, especially since it feels like every time they go online or chat with friends, they get bombarded with ads and “wish lists.”
One thing I’ve found works pretty well is just involving my kids in everyday things that remind them how much effort goes into what we have. For example, my 15-year-old helps plan family meals and sometimes shops with me. When she sees how much groceries cost (yikes, right?), she’s definitely more appreciative of what’s in the fridge.
We also created a simple “gratitude jar”—nothing fancy, just a mason jar and some paper scraps. Everyone writes down something they’re thankful for once a week, and we read them together. It’s free, easy, and surprisingly effective. Even my youngest (he’s 6) loves drawing a little picture of something good that happened.
I’ll admit, it’s tough sometimes when all their friends seem to have the newest gadgets or apps. I try to balance things by setting limits on screen time (though, don’t get me started on how most of the parental control apps want you to pay for the “real” features!). Instead, I just keep devices in the living room in the evenings, so we end up talking more about our day and what we’re grateful for.
Curious what others have tried too—any creative ideas out there that don’t cost an arm and a leg? Looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts!
Hi Ella! Oh, that’s such a wonderful question, and definitely something I think about a lot with my own two (a 9-year-old and a 13-year-old!). It’s a journey, isn’t it? Helping them see the good all around them instead of just focusing on the next new shiny thing.
We try a few things in our house, and it’s a mix of what works on different days, haha!
One thing that I find helps is modeling it ourselves. My husband and I make a point of saying “thank you” for small things, even to each other and the kids. And we talk openly about things we’re grateful for – sometimes at dinner, we’ll go around and each say one good thing that happened that day or something we appreciate.
We also try to involve them in giving back, even in small ways. Like when they outgrow toys or clothes, we talk about how another child who doesn’t have as much will be so happy to receive them. It helps them see beyond their own world a little.
It can be so tough, especially with all the influences they see around them, right? Particularly online – sometimes it feels like a constant stream of “I want this new game!” or “My friend has that cool gadget!” It makes them want more and more, and it’s hard for them to feel content.
For us, part of teaching gratitude has also meant trying to manage their exposure to some of that online pressure. We really want them to appreciate experiences, quality time, and the people in their lives more than just… stuff. That’s actually one of the reasons we started looking into parental control apps a while back. We’ve tried a bunch over the years, and honestly, finding the right fit was a bit of a journey! I’m no tech expert, just a mom trying to keep up!
For our family, mSpy has been the one that’s worked best, especially with my older one. It’s not about being a helicopter parent, but more about understanding the world they’re navigating online and being able to have those important conversations. You know, like when they see an influencer showing off a super lavish lifestyle, we can talk about how that might not be realistic, or why we should be grateful for what we have instead of pining for what others display. It helps me see what kind of content they’re consuming, so I can gently steer them or open up discussions about it, helping them to think critically and hopefully, appreciate their own lives more. Knowing I have a bit of a handle on that digital side gives me more peace of mind to focus on teaching these bigger life lessons, like gratitude.
Simple things like encouraging them to write thank-you notes (even if it’s a quick drawing from my youngest!) for gifts or kind gestures also seems to reinforce the idea.
It’s definitely an ongoing process, and some days are more successful than others, as I’m sure you know! Just keep those conversations open and keep showing them the way. You’re doing a great job just by thinking about it!
Warmly,
A fellow mom trying her best!
Hi Ella, and welcome to the forum! I’m Antonio, and I’m glad you’re here. It’s wonderful that you’re thinking about instilling gratitude in your kids – it’s such an important life skill. I think it’s one of the most important things we can teach them.
I’m a dad to a teenager myself, so I know exactly what you mean about wanting them to appreciate what they have! It’s tough sometimes, isn’t it? My biggest challenge right now is managing my daughter’s phone usage and her social media life. It sometimes feels like she’s more focused on what everyone else has online.
For us, it’s a constant conversation. We try to lead by example, which I know is cliché, but it really does work. We make sure we express gratitude for things, and she sees that. We also try to involve her in things that make her think about others less fortunate. Volunteering at a local food bank is a good example, because there is something tangible to do. It shows her that not everyone has it as good as she does and it makes her reflect on how lucky she is.
As far as her phone and social media go, well, that’s a whole other ball game! Right now, we don’t use a parental control app, but I’ve been looking into them. The honest truth is, I am not sure which one is best! For now, the rules are pretty strict. No phones at the dinner table (it’s family time!), no phones after a certain hour at night (to get good sleep!), and I do check her phone periodically. She is aware of all of these, and that is enough for the moment. I have also blocked certain sites that I’m not too keen on, which I did through our router, and so far so good!
It’s a work in progress, though! I think the most important thing is open communication and helping them to understand why you’re setting the rules. What works best for you, I am not sure, but maybe you can share how you handle things!
Looking forward to hearing more about your strategies!
Hello EllaThanks_33, and welcome to the forum! What a wonderful question – instilling gratitude in our children and grandchildren is so important, isn’t it? It’s something I think about a lot, especially with my own grandkids, Leo and Mia.
You know, Ella, trying to help them appreciate what they have feels even more crucial these days with all the influences they face, especially online. That’s one of my big worries, actually. I’m always thinking about how to keep them safe and grounded when they’re on their tablets or phones. I want to protect them from some of the pressures out there that can make them feel like they always need more, which is the opposite of that lovely gratitude we want them to feel. It’s a tricky balance, wanting them to explore and be independent but also wanting to shield them a bit from things that might dampen their spirits or their thankfulness.
I’ll be honest, I’m not the most tech-savvy nana, but I’m really trying my best to learn! It’s a whole new world for many of us, I think. I’m currently looking into parental control apps – haven’t settled on one yet, as there are so many out there! It feels like a bit of a minefield sometimes. Does anyone here have recommendations for apps that are easy for someone like me to use? I’m particularly interested in features that might help manage what they see, or even just help us all be more mindful about screen time, so they have more time for other things they can be grateful for – like a good romp in the park or a chat with family.
Regarding your question directly, Ella, one thing I’ve found helpful with Leo and Mia is simply talking. We try to have open conversations about what we’re thankful for each day, sometimes at dinner. It doesn’t have to be big things – a sunny day, a good book, a fun game we played together. I also try to model it myself, though heaven knows I’m not perfect! Sometimes just pointing out the small, good things helps.
Setting some gentle boundaries around screen time has also seemed to help. When they’re not glued to a screen, they seem to notice and appreciate the world around them a bit more. We also talk (or I try to, haha!) about what they see online, and encourage them to think critically about it. Sometimes just asking, “Does seeing all those adverts make you feel good about what you already have?” can spark a little thought and a good chat.
It’s a journey, isn’t it? And it sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job by just thinking about it, Ella. I’m so glad you brought this up. I’m looking forward to hearing what other folks have to say too!
Warmly,
Danielle N.