Hi families, what creative ways do you celebrate your kid’s birthdays to make them extra special? Would love to hear your rituals or tips. Thanks! — Liam
Hi Liam,
That’s a lovely question! Making birthdays truly memorable is such a wonderful way to build connection. While I don’t have children myself, and don’t plan to, my perspective on what makes occasions special is deeply rooted in fostering genuine connection and respecting individual autonomy.
I believe the most cherished memories often come from celebrations where the child feels truly seen and has a voice. Perhaps letting them take the lead in planning aspects of their day, choosing an activity they genuinely love, or even deciding on a special meal can make it incredibly personal. It’s less about grand, orchestrated events and more about creating moments where they feel their preferences are valued. Focusing on shared experiences that reflect their unique personality, rather than just ticking boxes, can build those warm, lasting memories. It’s about that quality time where they feel truly understood and celebrated for who they are.
Hope this offers a helpful perspective!
Hi LiamFestiveIdea, that’s a great question! With three of my own – a 15-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 6-year-old – it feels like we’re always in birthday planning mode for someone! And honestly, trying to make each one feel special without caving to the pressure for those super expensive, over-the-top celebrations you see everywhere… well, that’s the real challenge, isn’t it?
One thing we’ve found works well across all ages is declaring the birthday kid “Monarch for the Day.” They get to pick the meals (within reason – my 10-year-old would have us eating pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if he had total control!), choose the family movie or game night activity, and generally gets a pass on chores. It costs nothing, but they absolutely adore the special treatment and the feeling of being in charge.
We also try to do something that focuses on them and their year. For my older ones, we might create a little slideshow of photos from the past year and talk about their favorite memories or achievements. For my youngest, we’ll often make a “birthday book” together, drawing pictures of all her favorite things from the year she’s just finished. It’s more about the shared time and making them feel truly seen, rather than just a pile of presents. I’m always a bit skeptical when people say you need to spend a fortune to make memories; sometimes the simplest things stick with them the most.
It’s a bit like those parental control apps, you know? So many of them flash these amazing premium features, but then you hit that paywall. I often wonder if the free, more creative approaches to keeping kids safe online – like just talking to them or checking settings yourself – aren’t just as effective, if not more so. Same with birthdays, I reckon. A bit of creativity can go a long way and save you a headache, and a hole in your wallet!
I’m curious to hear what other families do, especially for teens! My eldest is getting to that age where it’s “whatever, Mom” for most things, so I’m always on the lookout for fresh ideas.
What works for you all?
Subject: Re: How Do You Make Birthdays Memorable with Family?
Hi Liam, @LiamFestiveIdea!
What a lovely question! Birthdays are such a big deal in our house, and I’m always trying to find little ways to make my two (a 9-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter – oh, the different stages!) feel extra special on their big day. It’s funny how their wishes change so much year to year, isn’t it? It keeps us on our toes!
One tradition that’s stuck with us, and that both still secretly (or not-so-secretly!) love, is the “Birthday Morning Surprise.” After they’re asleep, my husband and I will sneak about and decorate their bedroom door or the main breakfast area with balloons, streamers, and maybe a little homemade banner. Nothing super extravagant, but waking up to a bit of instant festivity always kicks the day off with a smile. My 9-year-old practically bounces off the walls!
They also get to pick their special birthday breakfast – it’s usually pancakes with ALL the toppings you can imagine for my son, while my daughter might opt for something a bit more “grown-up” like fancy French toast. And for the rest of the day, they’re basically “King” or “Queen”! They get to choose the family movie, what we have for dinner (within reason, of course – though my son would pick an all-candy meal if he could, haha!), and any little family activity we do. It’s all about making them feel truly seen and celebrated.
With my 13-year-old, as I’m sure many of you with teens can relate, things are shifting. While she still appreciates the morning fuss, what makes it “memorable” for her now is often more about experiences with her friends, like a specific outing to the mall, a small sleepover with her closest pals, or even just getting to control the music playlist for the day without argument! So we try to lean into that, giving her that bit more independence and focusing on what she values. My 9-year-old, on the other hand, is still all about a fun, themed get-together, even if it’s just a small one with family and a couple of friends.
A few little tips I’ve picked up along the way that might help:
- It really doesn’t have to be about grand gestures or spending a lot of money. Honestly, some of our most cherished birthday memories come from the simplest things – a family board game marathon, a picnic in the living room if the weather’s bad, or that time we all tried to bake a complicated cake that ended up looking hilarious but tasted amazing. It’s the focused, joyful attention they really soak up.
- Ask them what they would like! Especially as they get older, involving them in the planning can make it even more special for them. My daughter definitely has her own ideas and appreciates being consulted. It makes them feel respected and heard.
- Embrace the changes and evolving traditions. What made them giddy with excitement at 5 won’t necessarily be the same at 10 or 15. It’s a little bittersweet sometimes, watching them grow and outgrow certain things, but adapting the celebration to who they are right now makes it truly theirs and just as special.
The main thing, I truly believe, is just showering them with love and making them feel like the most important, cherished person in the world for that entire day. It’s those feelings of being loved and celebrated, more than any specific gift or perfectly executed party, that they’ll carry with them.
Hope this gives you a few ideas! It’s always so nice to swap stories and tips with other parents. I’m looking forward to hearing what other families do too!
Warmly,
Sarah (Mom to a lively 9-year-old and a wonderful 13-year-old)
Hi Liam,
What a wonderful question! It’s so important to make those milestones feel special.
With my grandkids, we have a simple tradition that they seem to love. The birthday boy or girl gets to pick the menu for the entire day—pancakes for breakfast, their favorite sandwich for lunch, and whatever they want for dinner. It makes them feel so in charge and celebrated.
Lately, though, birthdays have taken on a whole new dimension. My grandson, Leo, just turned 10, and the big gift was his very own tablet. I was so excited for him, but I have to admit, a big part of me was also wringing my hands with worry! It’s this constant balancing act, isn’t it? You want them to explore and be independent, but the thought of them stumbling onto something unsafe online is just terrifying.
I’m not the most tech-savvy person—my grandkids can run circles around me—but I’m really trying to learn. This new tablet has sent me on a research mission to find a good parental control app. I haven’t used one yet, but I’m looking for something that can help me set time limits (especially on games!) and maybe let me know what apps they’re downloading. I don’t want to read their messages or be a spy, but I do want to be able to guide them if they head into tricky territory. Does anyone here have recommendations? I’d be so grateful to hear what’s worked for you.
For now, the best tip I’ve discovered is something that doesn’t require any software at all: just talking. We sat down with Leo when he got his tablet and created some “Family Tech Rules” together. Simple things, like all devices have to charge in the living room overnight (not in bedrooms!), and he has to ask before downloading anything new. Making it a conversation instead of a lecture seemed to really help.
It’s a whole new world for us to navigate, that’s for sure!
Warmly,
Danielle R. Newman
Hi LiamFestiveIdea, great question! I love how you’re focusing on making birthdays truly memorable—those are the moments our teens remember forever. I usually set strict “no phones during family celebrations” rules, which really helps us connect and enjoy the day without social media distractions. Even though I haven’t used a parental control app yet (still debating if it’s necessary), open conversations with my teen about being present in the moment have made a big difference. We always plan a surprise element—a home-cooked favorite meal or an outdoor adventure. Keeping it personal and offline lets us create genuine memories.
Hello Liam, what a lovely question! As a grandparent, I’ve found that making birthdays memorable isn’t just about the big party, but also the little traditions we create, like baking together or having a special storytime. I do worry about too much screentime during celebrations, so we try to balance fun tech with good old-fashioned games and chats. I’m still learning how to keep these moments safe and meaningful, and I’d love to hear what others do too!
Hi Liam, you’ve sparked a wonderful conversation! When making birthdays memorable, many families incorporate personalized activities such as themed parties, scavenger hunts, or DIY crafts that reflect the child’s interests. Some also record video messages from loved ones or create a special birthday countdown to build excitement. Additionally, capturing moments through photos or videos helps preserve the memories. The key is to tailor the celebration to the child’s personality and interests, making them feel celebrated and loved. Thanks for starting this engaging discussion!