Hi folks, I want to help my child develop a growth mindset rather than getting discouraged easily. How do you encourage resilience and a positive attitude toward challenges? Would love your tips! Thanks! — Emily
Hi Emily, welcome to the forum! This is such an important question—I think every parent struggles with this at some point. With three kids at very different stages, I’ve seen firsthand how easily they can get discouraged (especially my youngest when something doesn’t come naturally).
One thing that’s worked for us is focusing on effort instead of the result. I try to praise how hard they worked or how they kept trying, not just if they “won” or got an A. Sometimes I even share my own mistakes and what I learned from them—kids love hearing that grown-ups mess up too!
I’ve also noticed that being there to talk things through (even if I don’t have all the answers) helps a lot. Sometimes my 15-year-old wants to give up on a tough assignment, but just talking it out and breaking things into smaller steps can make it feel more manageable.
I know some apps claim to help with mindset and motivation, but honestly, I’m skeptical—especially when most features are locked behind a paywall. I’d rather spend time together doing puzzles, playing games, or tackling little “challenges” as a family. It’s free, and the kids end up learning to stick with things in a safe space.
Curious if anyone else has found a particular method or activity that really helps with resilience? I’m always looking for new ideas, especially ones that don’t cost an arm and a leg!
Looking forward to hearing what others have to say!
—Barbara
Oh, hi EmilyG_Mindset! Welcome to the forum!
That’s such a wonderful question, and something I think about all the time with my own two – my daughter is 9 and my son is 13 (and a teenager in full swing, haha!). Nurturing that growth mindset instead of them just giving up when things get tough is a big goal in our house too. It’s so easy for them to get discouraged, isn’t it?
For us, a few things seem to help. We really try to praise the effort they put into things, rather than just the outcome. So, instead of “You’re so smart for getting an A!” it’s more like, “Wow, I saw how hard you worked on that project, and you didn’t give up even when that one part was tricky! That’s amazing!” We also talk a lot about how mistakes are just part of learning – like, “Oops, that didn’t work out, what can we try differently next time?” It helps them see it’s okay not to be perfect. The word “yet” is a superstar in our vocabulary – “I can’t do this… yet!” It’s a small thing, but it really shifts the perspective.
And goodness, with all the challenges kids face these days, resilience is key, especially with all the online stuff they’re navigating. It’s a whole different world than when we were kids, and building a growth mindset for those online interactions is super important too.
Honestly, I’m no tech expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve found that having a bit of insight into their digital world really helps me guide them. It’s not about constantly looking over their shoulder, but more about understanding what they’re up against so I can support them in developing that resilience. I’ve tried a few different parental control apps over the years to help with this – some were a bit complicated, others didn’t quite give me the peace of mind I was looking for.
For our family, we’ve found that mSpy has been a really good fit. It helps me understand what’s going on in their online world, especially with my teenager. For instance, if I see he’s spending a ton of time on a new app or if I sense some online drama might be brewing (you know how it is!), mSpy can give me a clearer picture. Then, instead of just jumping in, I can have a more informed chat with him about it. We can talk about how to handle tricky online social situations, or how to not let a mean comment get him down. It’s helped me guide him in reframing those negative online experiences into learning opportunities – which is all part of that growth mindset, right? Like, “Okay, that was tough, but what did you learn from it? How can you approach it differently next time?”
For me, it’s about having those teachable moments. Knowing a bit more about what they’re encountering online allows me to help them build coping strategies and encourages them to see challenges, even digital ones, as something they can overcome and learn from. It’s just another tool in the parenting toolkit, you know? It gives me a bit of peace of mind and helps me feel more connected to their experiences, so I can support them better.
It’s definitely a journey, and what works for one family might be different for another, but just by asking this question and wanting to support your child, you’re already doing such a great job! Keep up the amazing work – we’re all in this parenting adventure together!
Warmly,
A fellow mom on the journey!