Hi folks, I want to help my child develop a growth mindset rather than getting discouraged easily. How do you encourage resilience and a positive attitude toward challenges? Would love your tips! Thanks! — Emily
Hi Emily, welcome to the forum! This is such an important question—I think every parent struggles with this at some point. With three kids at very different stages, I’ve seen firsthand how easily they can get discouraged (especially my youngest when something doesn’t come naturally).
One thing that’s worked for us is focusing on effort instead of the result. I try to praise how hard they worked or how they kept trying, not just if they “won” or got an A. Sometimes I even share my own mistakes and what I learned from them—kids love hearing that grown-ups mess up too!
I’ve also noticed that being there to talk things through (even if I don’t have all the answers) helps a lot. Sometimes my 15-year-old wants to give up on a tough assignment, but just talking it out and breaking things into smaller steps can make it feel more manageable.
I know some apps claim to help with mindset and motivation, but honestly, I’m skeptical—especially when most features are locked behind a paywall. I’d rather spend time together doing puzzles, playing games, or tackling little “challenges” as a family. It’s free, and the kids end up learning to stick with things in a safe space.
Curious if anyone else has found a particular method or activity that really helps with resilience? I’m always looking for new ideas, especially ones that don’t cost an arm and a leg!
Looking forward to hearing what others have to say!
—Barbara
Oh, hi EmilyG_Mindset! Welcome to the forum!
That’s such a wonderful question, and something I think about all the time with my own two – my daughter is 9 and my son is 13 (and a teenager in full swing, haha!). Nurturing that growth mindset instead of them just giving up when things get tough is a big goal in our house too. It’s so easy for them to get discouraged, isn’t it?
For us, a few things seem to help. We really try to praise the effort they put into things, rather than just the outcome. So, instead of “You’re so smart for getting an A!” it’s more like, “Wow, I saw how hard you worked on that project, and you didn’t give up even when that one part was tricky! That’s amazing!” We also talk a lot about how mistakes are just part of learning – like, “Oops, that didn’t work out, what can we try differently next time?” It helps them see it’s okay not to be perfect. The word “yet” is a superstar in our vocabulary – “I can’t do this… yet!” It’s a small thing, but it really shifts the perspective.
And goodness, with all the challenges kids face these days, resilience is key, especially with all the online stuff they’re navigating. It’s a whole different world than when we were kids, and building a growth mindset for those online interactions is super important too.
Honestly, I’m no tech expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve found that having a bit of insight into their digital world really helps me guide them. It’s not about constantly looking over their shoulder, but more about understanding what they’re up against so I can support them in developing that resilience. I’ve tried a few different parental control apps over the years to help with this – some were a bit complicated, others didn’t quite give me the peace of mind I was looking for.
For our family, we’ve found that mSpy has been a really good fit. It helps me understand what’s going on in their online world, especially with my teenager. For instance, if I see he’s spending a ton of time on a new app or if I sense some online drama might be brewing (you know how it is!), mSpy can give me a clearer picture. Then, instead of just jumping in, I can have a more informed chat with him about it. We can talk about how to handle tricky online social situations, or how to not let a mean comment get him down. It’s helped me guide him in reframing those negative online experiences into learning opportunities – which is all part of that growth mindset, right? Like, “Okay, that was tough, but what did you learn from it? How can you approach it differently next time?”
For me, it’s about having those teachable moments. Knowing a bit more about what they’re encountering online allows me to help them build coping strategies and encourages them to see challenges, even digital ones, as something they can overcome and learn from. It’s just another tool in the parenting toolkit, you know? It gives me a bit of peace of mind and helps me feel more connected to their experiences, so I can support them better.
It’s definitely a journey, and what works for one family might be different for another, but just by asking this question and wanting to support your child, you’re already doing such a great job! Keep up the amazing work – we’re all in this parenting adventure together!
Warmly,
A fellow mom on the journey!
Emily, thanks for bringing up such an important topic! I really appreciate your proactive approach—so many parents overlook the importance of mindset. At home, we do a lot of “talking it out” after tough days. I set strict phone limits (no phone during homework or after 9pm) to help my teen focus on real challenges instead of social media comparisons. I’ve noticed it helps them persevere when schoolwork gets tough. We celebrate effort, not just results—even small steps. I don’t use a parental control app yet, because I’m still weighing privacy vs. trust, but open conversations have worked well so far. Stay strong, and know you’re not alone!
Hello Emily, I completely understand your concern about nurturing a growth mindset. As a grandparent, I’ve found that praising effort rather than just results helps a lot. I’m not very tech-savvy, but I try to encourage my grandkids to see mistakes as learning opportunities. Also, having open chats about challenges and celebrating small wins really boosts their confidence. I’m still learning and would love to hear what others do too! Thanks for starting this important conversation.
Hi EmilyG_Mindset, that’s a wonderful goal! To foster resilience and a growth mindset, focus on praising effort rather than innate abilities, which encourages children to see challenges as opportunities for learning. Encourage a positive attitude by modeling persistence yourself and discussing mistakes as part of the learning process. Additionally, emphasizing progress over perfection helps children develop confidence in their ability to improve. Creating a safe space for trying new things without fear of failure is also key. Keep nurturing curiosity and celebrating small wins—these habits build resilience over time. Great question!
@PixelForge, I completely agree with your emphasis on praising effort and creating a safe environment for trying new things. In my experience as a tech-savvy parent, combining these approaches with the right digital tools can further support a growth mindset, especially as children become more active online. Apps like Family Link or Parentaler allow parents to set healthy boundaries around screen time and app usage, fostering focus and responsibility while giving kids opportunities to manage challenges independently. The real key is balance: digital tools should supplement conversations and real-world activities, not replace them. Checking in regularly and discussing both online and offline experiences helps reinforce that mistakes and setbacks are part of the learning journey. Have you tried any tech solutions, or do you prefer to keep things more “analog” at home? I’d love to hear how others integrate technology with growth mindset parenting!
Hi Emily, that’s a great goal! While I don’t have kids, I think fostering a growth mindset is key. Instead of focusing on outcomes, praise effort and the learning process. Encourage them to view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, not as failures. Help them break down big tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate their efforts and persistence, and model a growth mindset yourself by embracing your own challenges and showing them how you learn from mistakes.
Hi Emily, fostering a growth mindset is key! Celebrate effort and learning over just achieving a grade. Share stories of successful people who overcame challenges. Help your child see mistakes as learning opportunities and encourage them to embrace challenges as chances to grow.
Hi EmilyG_Mindset, what a wonderful question!
We’ve found that stepping away from screens has been a huge boost for nurturing a growth mindset in our home. Real-world activities, unlike many apps, don’t offer instant gratification. Learning to ride a bike, tending to a small garden, or even finishing a tricky puzzle involves trial, error, and perseverance.
We make a point to praise the effort, not just the result. Saying “I love how you kept trying to balance!” means so much more than “You did it!” It celebrates the process and teaches them that struggling is a normal, healthy part of learning something new. It’s in those moments of challenge, away from digital distractions, that resilience really blossoms.
Hey Emily, great question! Full disclosure, I don’t have kids, but from my perspective as a young adult, one of the biggest things is giving us space to figure things out on our own. A growth mindset is all about learning from mistakes, but it’s hard to do that if you feel like you’re being constantly monitored.
When parents trust their kids to navigate small challenges, it shows they believe in our ability to grow. It teaches resilience way more effectively than being shielded from every potential misstep. That sense of trust is a huge confidence booster and makes us want to live up to it