Hey everyone, I’m Samuel. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to celebrate or encourage when my kids hit big milestones. From first steps to first jobs, what are the best ways you’ve supported your child’s development? Thanks! — Samuel
Oh, hi Samuel! Welcome to the forum! 
That’s such a great question, and goodness, isn’t it something we all ponder as parents? “Am I doing this right?” “Is this enough?” From those wobbly first steps (which feel like a lifetime ago for me now, but I still remember the heart-bursting pride!) to them venturing out into bigger things like school projects or even thinking about future jobs, it’s a whirlwind!
With my two, a 9-year-old and a 13-year-old, I’ve found that “celebrating” and “supporting” milestones looks a bit different for each of them, and it definitely changes as they grow.
For my 9-year-old, the milestones are often about mastering new skills or showing new levels of independence.
- Little victories: When she finally learned to tie her shoelaces properly after so much practice, we made a bit of a silly “Yay, you did it!” song and dance. Nothing fancy, but it made her beam! Or when she reads a whole chapter book by herself, we might make a special trip to the bookstore or library for a new one, her choice.
- Effort over outcome: Sometimes it’s not even about hitting a “big” milestone, but acknowledging the hard work. If she’s struggled with a particular concept in math and then finally gets it, even if it’s not an ‘A+’ on a test, we’ll talk about how proud I am of her for sticking with it. A high-five and “You worked so hard on that, well done!” can go a long way.
My 13-year-old is in a different zone, of course! Middle school is a whole universe of its own.
- Acknowledging growth: For him, support often looks like listening. When he navigates a tricky social situation with his friends, or takes responsibility for a mistake, I make sure to tell him I see his maturity growing. We might chat about it, and I’ll say something like, “That was really thoughtful how you handled that.”
- Shared experiences & choice: For bigger achievements, like doing really well on a major school project he was stressed about, or making it onto a sports team, we might celebrate with his favorite takeout, or let him choose a family movie night. It’s more about acknowledging his hard work and giving him some agency in how we mark it.
- Future-facing milestones (like “first jobs” you mentioned): While he’s not at “first job” stage yet, we talk about responsibility. If he does a great job with his chores consistently, or helps a neighbor, we talk about the value of that. It’s laying the groundwork for that pride in contributing and earning, which will be so important later.
A few things I’ve learned along the way:
- It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Truly, sometimes the most meaningful support is just being present, listening, and offering genuine praise. A heartfelt “I’m so proud of you” can mean the world.
- Know your child. My daughter loves a bit of fuss, my son prefers quieter acknowledgement. Tailoring it to their personality makes it more meaningful for them.
- Celebrate the effort, not just the success. This builds resilience for those times when things don’t come easily.
- Make memories. Sometimes just taking a photo, or writing down a little anecdote about the milestone in a journal (for you, or for them later) is a lovely way to honor it.
- Talk to them! As they get older, asking “How do you feel about accomplishing that?” or “What was the best part for you?” can be really insightful and helps them reflect too.
It really is a journey, Samuel, and sometimes it feels like we’re all just figuring it out as we go! But the fact that you’re thinking about how to best support your kids shows you’re already doing a wonderful job. Trust your instincts, and keep being there for them – that’s the biggest support of all!
Hope this helps a little!
Warmly,
A fellow parent (aka Mom of 2!) 
Hi Samuel, that’s a great question. With my three – 15, 10, and 6 – we’ve definitely seen our share of milestones, from first wobbly steps to my eldest thinking about his first summer job.
Honestly, I think the ‘best way’ to support them is often the simplest, and definitely doesn’t need to break the bank. There’s so much pressure these days to make a huge production out of everything, isn’t there? It reminds me a bit of those parental control apps, actually. They lure you in with the promise of keeping your kids safe, but then you find out all the really useful features – the ones that would actually give you peace of mind – are hidden behind a hefty subscription. It’s frustrating when you feel like you’re constantly being asked to pay more for basic things!
So, for milestones, we try to keep it genuine and low-key. When my oldest was learning to ride his bike years ago, it wasn’t about getting him the fanciest new bike, but about his dad patiently running alongside him until he got his balance. For my 10-year-old, when she finally nailed a difficult piece on the piano after weeks of practice, it was her favorite home-cooked meal and all of us really listening as she played it for us. And for my little one, when he learned to write his name, it was just a lot of patient encouragement, a big hug, and his artwork stuck proudly on the fridge.
I find it’s more about being truly present, really seeing their effort and their achievement, and sharing in their pride. No need for expensive gifts or elaborate parties, in my book. Just focused attention and genuine enthusiasm seems to mean more to them than anything money can buy. Sometimes I think we overcomplicate things, or feel pressured to spend money to show we care.
I’m curious to hear what other ‘low-cost, high-impact’ ideas folks here have. It’s easy to get swept up in expectations. What do you all think? Does anyone else find themselves questioning the “bigger is better” approach to these things?
Hey Samuel, great question! It’s awesome you’re thinking about how to best support your kids through their big moments.
I’m John, and I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I definitely remember what it was like hitting those milestones – from getting my driver’s license to my first real paycheck. And honestly, the kind of support that meant the most wasn’t always about big celebrations (though those are fun too!).
For me, and from what I see with friends and younger folks, a huge part of supporting milestones is about trust and open communication. When a kid hits a new stage, like maybe starting to go out with friends more, or getting that first job, it’s a massive step towards independence. What really makes a difference is feeling like your parents trust you to handle it, even if they’re still there to guide you.
It’s like, instead of just focusing on the potential worries, maybe the support comes from having conversations about responsibility, setting clear expectations together, and then giving them the space to actually be responsible. For example, with a first job, celebrating the achievement is great, but also talking through things like budgeting or work-life balance, and trusting them to manage their new schedule – that’s huge. It shows you believe in them.
I think sometimes, especially as teens get older and milestones involve more freedom (like that first job you mentioned, or even managing their own online presence), there’s a temptation for parents to want to keep a super tight rein, maybe with tracking apps or constant check-ins. And while safety is obviously paramount, from a young person’s perspective, that can sometimes overshadow the feeling of accomplishment and independence that comes with the milestone. It can make us feel like, “Do they actually trust me to handle this new responsibility?”
So, my two cents would be: celebrate the wins, absolutely! But also, use these milestones as opportunities to build even stronger trust. Have those open chats, listen to their thoughts and fears (they have them too!), and guide them by sharing your own experiences and leading by example. When they see you handling responsibilities and communicating openly, it sets a powerful precedent.
It’s all about finding that balance, right? Supporting their growth into capable individuals while still being that safety net. It sounds like you’re already on a great track by even asking this question!
Hope that perspective helps a bit!
Best,
John Fly