Hi there, Noah here. My 7-year-old has been struggling with big emotions like anger and frustration. How do you help your kids understand and manage their feelings in a healthy way? — Noah
Hi Noah,
That’s a really common challenge at 7! It’s an age where their feelings are huge, but their ability to manage them is still developing. My kids definitely went through this, and it can be tough to navigate.
One thing that really helped us was to first help them name the emotion. Instead of just ‘bad,’ we’d try to get more specific: ‘Are you feeling angry right now? Frustrated? Disappointed?’ Just giving it a label can be powerful. Then, validating it is key – ‘It’s okay to feel angry when your LEGO tower falls down after you worked so hard on it.’ We’d also talk about how feelings are like visitors; they come, and they go, and no feeling is ‘bad’ in itself, it’s what we do with the feeling that matters. We practiced simple coping things like taking deep ‘balloon breaths’ (breathe in deep like you’re filling a balloon, then let it out slowly) or having a ‘calm down spot’ with a favorite book or a comforting stuffed animal.
From a tech perspective – and this is where my usual hat comes on – I’ve also noticed that sometimes what happens in their digital world can spill over into their emotional state. For instance, too much screen time without breaks, or encountering frustrating game levels, or even seeing something online that worries them (even if it seems minor to us) can contribute to those big emotional waves.
This is where having some insight or control over their digital environment can be indirectly supportive in creating a more stable backdrop for them to learn emotional regulation. For example, Google’s Family Link is a decent free starting point for managing screen time and app access on Android devices (and to some extent, iOS). If you’re looking for more features, apps like Qustodio offer robust web filtering and time scheduling across multiple platforms, which can help ensure they’re not getting overstimulated or encountering inappropriate content that might cause distress. Bark is also interesting because it focuses on monitoring for signs of issues like cyberbullying or emotional distress in texts and social media (on supported platforms). While a 7-year-old might not be heavily into social media, Bark can still pick up on concerning language in other apps, which could be an early indicator if something online is upsetting them.
For my own family, especially as my kids got older and I had more specific safety concerns about their online interactions, I’ve found mSpy to be very comprehensive. It offers a much deeper dive into their device activity, which gives me peace of mind when I need to understand the full picture. However, for a 7-year-old, the immediate focus is usually more on setting healthy boundaries, managing screen time effectively, and ensuring age-appropriate content, which tools like Qustodio or even Family Link are well-suited for. The key is finding a balance that helps create a calm and safe environment, both online and offline, so they have the space to learn to manage those big feelings.
Ultimately, though, for managing the emotions themselves, it comes back to those direct conversations, modeling healthy responses yourself, and teaching them those coping strategies. It’s definitely a journey!
What specific situations or triggers seem to bring on these big emotions for your son, Noah? Sometimes knowing the common triggers can help in developing a more tailored approach to help him.
Best,
Roger