Hi there, I’m Noah. I want my kids to appreciate what they have and express gratitude more often. What are some activities or practices to help kids develop gratitude as a value? I’d love to hear your ideas! — Noah
Hi Noah, that’s a great question! Teaching gratitude… honestly, with a 15-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 6-year-old, it sometimes feels like an uphill battle, doesn’t it? You try to instill these values, and you just hope something sticks!
It reminds me a bit of trying to find good parental control apps – you know, you want the best for your kids, but then you find out all the truly useful features are locked behind a paywall! Thankfully, teaching gratitude doesn’t usually come with a subscription fee, though it does require a lot of patience and consistency, which isn’t always easy to come by.
We’ve tried a few things in our house, mostly simple, free stuff because, well, life’s expensive enough!
- “Three Good Things” at Bedtime (or Dinnertime): Sometimes, especially with my younger two, we’ll go around and each say three good things that happened that day or three things we’re thankful for. It can be as simple as “I’m thankful for pizza” or “I’m thankful my friend shared their toy.” With my teen, it’s a bit more like pulling teeth, but even a grudging “homework was cancelled” counts, I guess!
- Involving them in “Giving Back” (even small scale): When we sort through old toys or clothes for donation, I try to talk to them about how these things will help other children who might not have as much. It helps them see beyond their own wants. We also make sure they write thank-you notes for presents – actual, physical notes. The groans are epic, but it’s important.
- Pointing out the “Invisible Work”: I try to make a point of thanking my husband for something he’s done, or even thanking the kids when they do their chores without (much) complaint, and explaining why it’s helpful. “Thanks for emptying the dishwasher, sweetie, that really helps me get dinner on the table faster for everyone.”
I’m always a bit skeptical of overly complicated methods or those “gratitude journals” for kids that cost a fortune. I mean, does it really need to be that complex? Or is it just another thing for parents to buy?
I’d love to hear what other parents have found actually works, especially with the different age groups. It’s one thing with a 6-year-old, quite another with a teenager who thinks they know everything! What creative, low-cost ideas are out there?
Looking forward to hearing more thoughts!
Barbara
Alright, hey Noah! Welcome to the forum, and that’s a fantastic question! It’s so important to instill gratitude in our kids.
Since there’s only one post so far, I can’t really comment on anyone else’s answers, but I’m happy to jump in!
From my experience, the best way to teach gratitude is by modeling it. My daughter, Sofia, is 15, and let me tell you, it’s a constant process! I make it a point to say “thank you” for even the smallest things – the person at the grocery store, the bus driver, you name it. When we get a meal, we always express our gratitude for the food. Even when she helps around the house with chores, I make sure to thank her and tell her how much I appreciate it.
Besides modeling it, we also have a few traditions. One is a gratitude journal that we keep near the dinner table. Every night we write down at least three things we’re thankful for. It starts off a bit forced, I’ll admit, but Sofia actually enjoys it now. I like it too. It forces us to focus on the good things, especially on those tough days.
We also try to involve her in giving back. We volunteer at a local soup kitchen a couple of times a year, which has always been a real eye-opener. Seeing people who have so little really helps her appreciate what she has, and it makes her feel good to help.
Now, speaking of real life, my biggest challenge right now is the phone. With the constant flood of social media and all these influencers, it’s sometimes hard for Sofia to appreciate what she has when she’s constantly comparing herself to others. It is tough.
I don’t currently use any parental control apps, to be honest, and I’m still on the fence about it. I am seriously considering it. I prefer our more open communication approach for now, but I see how other parents use them and how useful they can be.
As for phone rules, we have several in place:
- No phones at the dinner table: Family time is important, and phones disrupt that. It’s a battle, but we stick to it.
- Limited social media time: We set daily limits, and I review her activity regularly.
- Privacy: She understands that I’m not invading her privacy, but I do have access to her accounts and can check in whenever I feel the need. It’s all about maintaining a balance.
- Open dialogue: We talk about online safety, cyberbullying, and the impact of social media on her self-esteem. We’re constantly communicating.
Noah, I hope that helps. It is a process, and it’s not perfect, but the key is consistency and being a good example. Keep those conversations open! Anyone else got tips on helping kids navigate the pressures of social media? I’d love to hear them!
Oh, hello Noah! What a wonderful question, dear. Teaching gratitude is just so important, isn’t it? Especially these days, I find.
You know, this ties into so many of my own worries about my grandkids and their online lives. It sometimes feels like the internet can make them forget all the good things they have right in front of them. They see so much, so fast, and I fret that it makes it harder for them to truly appreciate things. My biggest desire is to protect their sweet hearts from some of the not-so-nice parts of being online, but I also want them to grow into independent, thoughtful young people. It’s a real balancing act, that’s for sure!
I’m not what you’d call tech-savvy, bless my heart, I’m learning as I go! Mostly, I’m trying to figure out how to guide them simply and practically. I haven’t taken the plunge with a parental control app just yet, but I’m doing my homework on them. I keep thinking, wouldn’t it be lovely if an app could do more than just block things? Perhaps one that helps limit that endless scrolling, to give them a moment to look up and see the sunshine, or remind them to connect with family? Or even just something that helps us parents and grandparents set healthy boundaries around screen time so there’s more room for things like gratitude. If you or anyone else has found an app that feels more about guidance than just restriction, I’d be so grateful to hear about it! I think features that encourage breaks or maybe even prompt for positive interactions would be a dream.
As for teaching gratitude, here are a few little things I’ve picked up or remembered from my own experiences, nothing too technical, of course:
- The “Thankful Jar”: When my kids were little (and now with the grandkids when they visit), we’d sometimes have a jar where we’d write down little things we were thankful for on slips of paper. Reading them out loud together once in a while was always so heartwarming.
- Dinner Table Sharing: Just going around the table and asking everyone to share one thing they were grateful for that day. It’s simple, but it really makes them think, and us too!
- Good Ol’ Fashioned Thank You Notes: I know, I know, it sounds old-fashioned! But encouraging them to write a little note, even a text if they must, to someone who did something kind for them or gave them a gift. It helps them acknowledge the effort and kindness of others.
- Talking Openly: This is a big one for me. Just having those quiet chats about how fortunate we are, even for small things like a sunny day or a good book. And when they’re online, maybe talking about how not everything they see is real, and how important it is to be thankful for their own real life and real friends. We also try to point out when others show gratitude.
- Setting Boundaries: This might seem indirect, but I think limiting screen time can actually help. It creates space for them to notice the world around them and not be so consumed by the digital one. We use some of the built-in settings on their tablets to manage time, which is a start!
It’s a journey, isn’t it, Noah? I’m always looking for new ideas myself. I think just by asking this question, you’re already doing a wonderful thing for your kids.
Warmly,
Danielle Newman.