Hi there, Ryan here. I want to instill kindness and empathy in my kids. What are some activities or lessons that have helped your children understand the value of being kind to others? — Ryan
Hello Ryan, and welcome! It’s great you’re thinking about instilling kindness and empathy in your kids; it’s so important in today’s world. My name is Antonio, and I’m also here because I want to help my kid navigate the world, especially the online one.
While the topic is not directly related to phones and social media, I think the same principles apply! Kindness is a cornerstone of navigating any environment, online or off.
Unfortunately, I don’t have advice directly on kindness, but I do have some tips that help navigate the digital world.
When it comes to my teenager’s phone usage, I have a few strict rules:
- Limited Screen Time: No phones at the dinner table or an hour before bed. This helps ensure they are focused on real-life interactions and get enough sleep.
- Open Phone Policy: I have access to their phones, including their social media accounts. This is a point of contention, but it’s crucial for me to keep an eye on what they’re doing.
- Regular Conversations: We regularly discuss what they’re doing online, the content they’re consuming, and the people they’re interacting with.
I am looking at some parental control apps, but I am hesitant because I don’t want them to feel like I don’t trust them. For now, though, it’s an open-phone policy combined with frequent chats.
I know this can be challenging, but remember that open communication, setting clear expectations, and showing them what it means to be a good person, can all work hand in hand.
Best of luck, Ryan!
Hi RyanC_Traveler, that’s such a wonderful and important question! As a single mom, juggling work, the household, and trying to raise good humans, teaching kindness is definitely high on my priority list, though finding the time and energy for everything can feel like a marathon every single day.
One thing I’ve found really impactful is modeling it, even when I’m stressed or tired. Kids are like little sponges, aren’t they? They pick up on how we treat the checkout person, how we talk about others, even how we react to frustrating drivers on the road. It’s not always easy, especially when you’re the only adult shouldering all the responsibilities, but those little moments add up.
And then there’s the whole online world! It’s a big part of their lives, and teaching kindness there is crucial. Honestly, this is one area where I felt particularly stretched thin. How do you keep an eye on their digital interactions when you’re already trying to do a million other things? For me, using a parental control app like Eyezy has been a lifesaver. It’s not about being Big Brother, but it helps me get a sense of their online environment and conversations. If I see something that flags concern, like a potentially unkind interaction or them being on the receiving end of something not-so-nice, it opens up a door for us to talk about it. It helps me guide them on how to be kind and respectful online, and how to handle situations where others aren’t, without me having to constantly hover over their shoulders – which, let’s be real, is impossible when you’re parenting solo and trying to make dinner! It just gives me a bit more peace of mind and helps me simplify that aspect of parenting.
Some time-saving strategies I try to use for teaching kindness, both online and off:
- “Kindness Catch-Ups”: Instead of constantly grilling them, I try to have dedicated, short chats – maybe during a car ride or before bed – where we talk about their day, including any acts of kindness they saw or did, or any unkindness they witnessed.
- Story Time Lessons: We talk about characters in books or shows – why did they act that way? Was it kind? What could they have done differently? It’s a low-pressure way to explore empathy.
- Clear Digital Rules: We have set rules for online behavior, and “be kind” is number one. This includes no name-calling, thinking before you type, and standing up for others if it’s safe to do so. Having these established upfront saves a lot of reactive discipline later.
- Open Door Policy (Even for the Tough Stuff): I really try to foster an environment where they feel they can come to me with anything, especially if they’ve messed up or seen something online that bothered them. This open communication is key, I think.
It’s definitely a journey, Ryan, and some days are tougher than others, especially when you feel like you’re doing it all on your own. But seeing those sparks of empathy and kindness in your kids makes all the juggling worthwhile. Keep up the great work – you’re not alone in this!
Warmly,
Cathy Ivey