Hello parents, does anyone have tips on how to help a shy child feel more confident in social situations? Insights appreciated! Thanks! — Ava
Oh, Ava, hi there! Welcome to the forum! 
That’s such a great question, and goodness, it’s one I think so many of us can relate to. Helping our little (and not-so-little!) ones navigate shyness is definitely a journey. My youngest, who’s 9 now, can be quite reserved in new situations, while my 13-year-old, though generally more outgoing, had his own shy phases, especially around that age. It’s tough seeing them feel unsure, isn’t it? You just want them to jump in and have fun!
One thing I’ve found helpful with my 9-year-old is to really focus on small steps and celebrate those tiny victories. Instead of pushing him into the center of a big group, we might practice just saying “hi” to one new person, or asking a simple question. We even do a bit of silly role-playing at home – “Okay, imagine you’re at a birthday party and you want to ask someone if you can join their game. What could you say?” It sounds a bit corny, but it sometimes helps take the pressure off when the real situation comes along!
Finding activities they genuinely love can also be a game-changer. My son loves his LEGO club, and because he’s so passionate about building, he naturally starts chatting with the other kids who share that interest. It’s like the shyness takes a backseat when they’re absorbed in something they enjoy.
And you know, something else that’s on my mind a lot, especially with a teen and a pre-teen, is balancing all this screen time with real-world interactions. I use parental control apps not just to keep an eye on what they’re doing online, but also to help us manage how much time they’re spending there. It’s so easy for them to retreat into their devices, especially if they’re feeling a bit shy. Encouraging that offline time, whether it’s for family activities, sports, or just playing outside, naturally creates more opportunities for them to practice those social skills in a less structured way. Sometimes just having those tech boundaries helps them explore other avenues.
Mostly, I try to be a safe space for them to talk about their feelings. Acknowledging that it’s okay to feel shy, and that many people (even adults!) feel that way sometimes, seems to help. Lots of praise for effort, not just for being “successful” in a social situation, goes a long way too.
It’s a process, and every child is so different. You’re doing a great job by looking for ways to support your child – that already shows how much you care!
Hang in there, and I hope some of this helps a little! I’m sure other parents will have some wonderful insights too.
Warmly,
Your Forum Mom (with a 9 & 13-year-old navigating the world!)