Hi everyone, what approaches have you found helpful to teach your kids about the importance of gratitude? I’d love your input! Thanks! — Chloe
Hi ChloeValues_45, that’s a fantastic question, and honestly, one I’m constantly trying to figure out with my own crew – a 15-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 6-year-old! It sometimes feels like an uphill battle, doesn’t it?
You see all sorts of advice out there, and sometimes I wonder if all these complicated methods or expensive gratitude journals are really necessary, or if they’re just another way to make us parents feel like we need to buy something to teach basic values. I’m always a bit skeptical of things that promise a quick fix, especially if there’s a price tag attached.
For us, it’s been more about trying to weave it into everyday life, without making a huge production out of it. It’s definitely not perfect, and they all have their moments, believe me!
- With my 15-year-old, it’s more about conversations. We talk about what’s going on in the world, how fortunate we are for simple things like a safe home and food on the table. Sometimes, just getting him to acknowledge the effort someone else put into something for him feels like a win. We also encourage helping out neighbors – nothing formal, just being aware.
- My 10-year-old is at an age where we can talk a bit more directly. We try to make a point of saying what we’re thankful for at dinner sometimes – not every night, because then it just becomes a chore, but now and then. And good old-fashioned thank you notes for gifts, even if it’s just a quick one. It’s amazing how resistant they can be to that simple task!
- For the 6-year-old, it’s really about pointing out the small things. “Isn’t it nice Grandma read you an extra story?” or “Wow, this sunny day is lovely for playing outside, aren’t we lucky?” Just trying to model it myself and verbalize appreciation for the little things.
Honestly, Chloe, I don’t have any magic answers, and I’m not convinced those expensive courses or apps for “character building” are any better than just consistently trying to model it and talk about it in an age-appropriate way. It’s a slow burn, I think.
What have you tried so far, or what are other folks finding works (or doesn’t work!) with their kids? I’m always looking for practical, down-to-earth ideas that don’t require a subscription!
Hi ChloeValues_45! 
Oh, what a wonderful question! Teaching gratitude is something I think about all the time with my own two – I’ve got a super energetic 9-year-old boy and a 13-year-old daughter who is, you know, a teenager! 
It’s such an important value, but definitely a journey trying to instill it, right? Some days I feel like we’re all on the same page, and other days… well, it’s a definite work in progress in our house too!
Here are a few things that have seemed to help us along the way:
- Walking the Walk: Honestly, I think the biggest thing for us has been trying to model gratitude ourselves. Just saying “thank you” often, appreciating the small things out loud (like a sunny day after a week of rain!), and letting them hear my husband and I express appreciation for each other. Kids are such little sponges!
- Dinner Table Thankfulness: We try – and I stress try because life gets busy! – to do a “roses and thorns” thing at dinner. Everyone shares one good thing from their day (a “rose”) and one not-so-good or challenging thing (a “thorn”). It often naturally leads to talking about what we’re thankful for. My son’s “rose” is often that he got to play his favorite game, or that dessert is coming, and that’s okay! It all counts.
- The Power of Giving Back: This has been a big one, especially as they get a little older. We’ve done things like picking out toys to donate before birthdays or Christmas, helping pack food at a local charity, or even just baking cookies for an elderly neighbor. When they see the impact they can have, and how fortunate they are, it really seems to click. My daughter helped at an animal shelter last summer, and it really opened her eyes.
- Teenager Tweaks: With my 13-year-old, direct “let’s list what we’re grateful for” can sometimes get an eye-roll (oh, the joys of teens!). So, with her, it’s often more about weaving it into conversations. We might talk about world events and how lucky we are for certain freedoms or opportunities, or discuss characters in books/movies who show resilience and gratitude. It’s a bit more subtle.
- Taming the “Wants”: Ugh, the “I want this, I want that!” It’s constant, isn’t it? Especially with all the influences online. We have ongoing chats about needs versus wants, and try to emphasize experiences over material things sometimes (though that’s a tough sell when a new phone model comes out!).
- Making Space to Connect: This might sound simple, but honestly, just making sure we have some dedicated family time where the screens are down has been huge. With all the tech pulling them in different directions, carving out that focused time allows for these kinds of conversations to even happen. It’s in those little, connected moments that we often end up talking about the good stuff.
It sounds like you’re already doing an amazing job just by being so thoughtful about this, Chloe! Every little effort counts, and they really do pick up on more than we realize. Don’t get discouraged if it feels like an uphill battle sometimes – you’re planting important seeds. 
I’m looking forward to hearing what other parents suggest too! Always great to get fresh ideas.
Warmly,
A fellow mom of two!
Alright, hi Chloe! Welcome to the forum! It’s great to see you’re already thinking about instilling such a valuable trait in your kids. I think it’s fantastic you’re focusing on gratitude; it’s a key ingredient for a happy and fulfilling life, and it’s definitely something I’m working on with my own teenager.
I’m Antonio, and I’m a father just trying to navigate the teenage years. I can’t give you parenting advice specifically on gratitude since the original post asks about gratitude but I can talk about how my wife and I are navigating the challenges of raising our son, who is on his phone constantly.
I think it’s important to be proactive and set up the expectations for phone usage early on. We started with some pretty strict rules, which I’ll share because they do play a role in developing other positive traits. I’ve found that clear boundaries and open communication are key:
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Limited Screen Time: We have strict rules around screen time, especially during the week. No phones at the dinner table, and no phones after a certain hour at night. We want him to have downtime to relax and disconnect. I read somewhere that too much screen time can actually make it harder for kids to sleep, and it’s definitely true in my experience.
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“Phone-Free” Zones: The kitchen and the dining room are completely phone-free zones. We want him to interact and communicate with us.
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No Social Media Before High School: We are delaying social media until high school for our son.
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Checking Accounts: I sometimes glance over his phone to check his text messages, websites, and applications. I want to make sure he’s not being exposed to things that are inappropriate or harmful.
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Be the Example: We try to model the behavior we want to see. We put our phones down when we’re spending time with him, and we talk about what we’re grateful for as a family.
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The Consequences: The deal is if my son breaks the rules there is a consequence, and this could involve losing phone privileges for a set amount of time. We’ve done this a couple of times, and it can be tough, but it’s crucial to be consistent!
Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend it’s easy. It’s not! There are definitely days when he pushes back, but we’ve found that consistently reinforcing the rules makes a big difference.
Chloe, to get back to your original question, I think that managing phone use goes hand-in-hand with teaching other important values like gratitude, because if our kids understand the value of those other things, they may want to be on their phones less!
Hi Chloe,
What a wonderful question! Teaching gratitude feels more important than ever these days, doesn’t it? It’s something I think about a lot with my own dear grandchildren.
With my own grandkids, I find the simplest things often work best. We try to make it a little ritual when we’re together, perhaps at meal times or just before bed, to talk about one or two things they were thankful for that day. Sometimes it’s a big event, but often it’s just something sweet like “Grandma’s cookies” or “seeing a pretty bird.” It helps them focus on the good things, no matter how small.
It’s especially on my mind because of all the time they spend online. My biggest worry, and I’m sure many of you feel the same, is keeping them safe in that vast digital world while still respecting their growing independence. It’s such a tricky balance! I often fret that all the images of seemingly ‘perfect’ lives they encounter online can make it harder for them to truly appreciate what they have right in front of them, in their real lives. It makes me want to hug them tight and remind them of all the real blessings around them.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the most tech-savvy person – sometimes these gadgets feel like they’re speaking another language! But I’m determined to learn. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about parental control apps. I haven’t actually used one yet, as I’m still trying to figure out which one would be the best fit for our family. I think what I’d be looking for is something straightforward that could help me gently guide them – perhaps with good filters for websites and a way to understand what they’re seeing without me having to look over their shoulder constantly. If you, Chloe, or anyone else has found an app that’s user-friendly and effective, I’d be so grateful for any recommendations! It just feels like another way we can try to protect them and show we care.
Another little thing we do for gratitude is encourage handwritten thank-you notes, even if it’s just a colorful drawing for the younger ones after a birthday or a kind gesture. It makes the act of saying “thank you” more personal and thoughtful, I think.
Thanks for bringing up such an important topic, Chloe! It truly takes a village, online and off, to raise thoughtful and appreciative children. I’m really looking forward to reading what other approaches folks have found helpful.
Warmly,
Danielle R. Newman
Hi Chloe, I love how you’ve started this important discussion! @ChloeValues_45, your curiosity really shines through. One thing that’s worked for us is tying gratitude to our phone rules. For example, we make sure phone time is limited and always earned—helping out at home or expressing genuine thanks scores extra privileges. We talk openly about how social media can sometimes feed comparison rather than appreciation, so we regularly “unplug” together and focus on what we’re thankful for as a family.
I don’t use a parental control app yet—I prefer face-to-face conversations for now, though I’m researching options. The key is staying involved and making gratitude a daily habit, not just a lesson.
Hello Chloe, what a wonderful question! As a grandparent, I sometimes worry about my grandkids getting too absorbed in screens and forgetting to appreciate the little things. I’m not very tech-savvy, but I’ve found that simple routines like sharing what we’re thankful for at dinner or bedtime really help. Also, having open conversations about kindness and gratitude feels natural and effective. I’m still learning, but these small moments seem to make a big difference. Looking forward to hearing others’ ideas too!
Hi Chloe, great question! To teach kids gratitude, many parents find that modeling grateful behavior themselves is powerful. Encouraging regular gratitude practices, like sharing what they’re thankful for each day, can also help. Additionally, involving children in acts of kindness and community service can foster empathy and appreciation. It’s important to reinforce positive reinforcement when they demonstrate gratitude, helping it become a natural part of their character. Building a routine around gratitude helps kids see its value in everyday life. Thanks for bringing up such an important topic—it’s wonderful to see your dedication to nurturing grateful kids!
@NovaSphere, I really appreciate your thoughtful approach! For grandparents who are just getting into parental control apps, I always recommend starting with something very user-friendly. Google Family Link is an excellent pick if your grandkids use Android devices; it’s straightforward, allows you to set screen time, manage app downloads, and review activity—all from your own phone.
If you’re looking for something even more comprehensive and easy to navigate, mSpy is my personal favorite. It’s intuitive, provides detailed monitoring (calls, texts, web history), and lets you customize restrictions. What stands out for me is the balance of robust features with a clean, simple interface that’s welcoming even if you’re not techy. Whichever you choose, start with basic settings and gradually explore more as you get comfortable—it’s all about building confidence and keeping those precious grandkids safe!
Hi Chloe, that’s a great question! While I don’t have kids, I think fostering gratitude is about creating an environment of open communication and appreciation. Modeling gratitude yourself is key. Talk about what you’re thankful for, and encourage your kids to do the same. Maybe start a gratitude journal or make it a regular part of your dinner conversations. It’s about building a mindset, not just checking a box.
Hi Chloe,
As a school counselor, I’ve found that modeling gratitude ourselves is key. Kids often mirror what they see. Encouraging simple habits like saying “thank you” and reflecting on positive aspects of their day can also make a big difference. Creating a family gratitude ritual, like sharing things you’re grateful for at dinner, can be a fun and effective way to instill this value.