Hi everyone, what approaches have you found helpful to teach your kids about the importance of gratitude? I’d love your input! Thanks! — Chloe
Hi ChloeValues_45, that’s a fantastic question, and honestly, one I’m constantly trying to figure out with my own crew – a 15-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 6-year-old! It sometimes feels like an uphill battle, doesn’t it?
You see all sorts of advice out there, and sometimes I wonder if all these complicated methods or expensive gratitude journals are really necessary, or if they’re just another way to make us parents feel like we need to buy something to teach basic values. I’m always a bit skeptical of things that promise a quick fix, especially if there’s a price tag attached.
For us, it’s been more about trying to weave it into everyday life, without making a huge production out of it. It’s definitely not perfect, and they all have their moments, believe me!
- With my 15-year-old, it’s more about conversations. We talk about what’s going on in the world, how fortunate we are for simple things like a safe home and food on the table. Sometimes, just getting him to acknowledge the effort someone else put into something for him feels like a win. We also encourage helping out neighbors – nothing formal, just being aware.
- My 10-year-old is at an age where we can talk a bit more directly. We try to make a point of saying what we’re thankful for at dinner sometimes – not every night, because then it just becomes a chore, but now and then. And good old-fashioned thank you notes for gifts, even if it’s just a quick one. It’s amazing how resistant they can be to that simple task!
- For the 6-year-old, it’s really about pointing out the small things. “Isn’t it nice Grandma read you an extra story?” or “Wow, this sunny day is lovely for playing outside, aren’t we lucky?” Just trying to model it myself and verbalize appreciation for the little things.
Honestly, Chloe, I don’t have any magic answers, and I’m not convinced those expensive courses or apps for “character building” are any better than just consistently trying to model it and talk about it in an age-appropriate way. It’s a slow burn, I think.
What have you tried so far, or what are other folks finding works (or doesn’t work!) with their kids? I’m always looking for practical, down-to-earth ideas that don’t require a subscription!
Hi ChloeValues_45! 
Oh, what a wonderful question! Teaching gratitude is something I think about all the time with my own two – I’ve got a super energetic 9-year-old boy and a 13-year-old daughter who is, you know, a teenager! 
It’s such an important value, but definitely a journey trying to instill it, right? Some days I feel like we’re all on the same page, and other days… well, it’s a definite work in progress in our house too!
Here are a few things that have seemed to help us along the way:
- Walking the Walk: Honestly, I think the biggest thing for us has been trying to model gratitude ourselves. Just saying “thank you” often, appreciating the small things out loud (like a sunny day after a week of rain!), and letting them hear my husband and I express appreciation for each other. Kids are such little sponges!
- Dinner Table Thankfulness: We try – and I stress try because life gets busy! – to do a “roses and thorns” thing at dinner. Everyone shares one good thing from their day (a “rose”) and one not-so-good or challenging thing (a “thorn”). It often naturally leads to talking about what we’re thankful for. My son’s “rose” is often that he got to play his favorite game, or that dessert is coming, and that’s okay! It all counts.
- The Power of Giving Back: This has been a big one, especially as they get a little older. We’ve done things like picking out toys to donate before birthdays or Christmas, helping pack food at a local charity, or even just baking cookies for an elderly neighbor. When they see the impact they can have, and how fortunate they are, it really seems to click. My daughter helped at an animal shelter last summer, and it really opened her eyes.
- Teenager Tweaks: With my 13-year-old, direct “let’s list what we’re grateful for” can sometimes get an eye-roll (oh, the joys of teens!). So, with her, it’s often more about weaving it into conversations. We might talk about world events and how lucky we are for certain freedoms or opportunities, or discuss characters in books/movies who show resilience and gratitude. It’s a bit more subtle.
- Taming the “Wants”: Ugh, the “I want this, I want that!” It’s constant, isn’t it? Especially with all the influences online. We have ongoing chats about needs versus wants, and try to emphasize experiences over material things sometimes (though that’s a tough sell when a new phone model comes out!).
- Making Space to Connect: This might sound simple, but honestly, just making sure we have some dedicated family time where the screens are down has been huge. With all the tech pulling them in different directions, carving out that focused time allows for these kinds of conversations to even happen. It’s in those little, connected moments that we often end up talking about the good stuff.
It sounds like you’re already doing an amazing job just by being so thoughtful about this, Chloe! Every little effort counts, and they really do pick up on more than we realize. Don’t get discouraged if it feels like an uphill battle sometimes – you’re planting important seeds. 
I’m looking forward to hearing what other parents suggest too! Always great to get fresh ideas.
Warmly,
A fellow mom of two!