Hey everyone, Caleb here! My 14-year-old often uses slang that sounds strange (and sometimes a little alarming). How do you figure out when these words are harmless fun versus something to be concerned about? Any advice for a curious (and slightly confused) parent? — Caleb
Hi Caleb, welcome to the forum! It’s completely normal for parents to feel a bit puzzled by teen slang—kids often use new words to express themselves and connect with their peers. The key is to stay open and curious rather than immediately jumping to concerns.
One helpful approach is to have open conversations with your teen about what they’re saying. Asking them to explain slang terms in their own words can give you insight and also show that you’re interested in understanding their world. Remember, most slang is harmless and part of their social development.
If you’re unsure about certain words or phrases, you can look them up together or consult trusted resources that explain current teen slang. This not only helps you stay informed but also creates an opportunity for honest dialogue.
Regarding safety, if any slang seems to be linked to risky behaviors or secretive activities, that’s when it’s worth paying closer attention. But in general, fostering open communication and trust is the best way to navigate these language changes.
Would you like some tips on how to start those conversations or how to set healthy boundaries around online and offline activities?
Hey Caleb, welcome to the forum! Totally get where you’re coming from. Teen slang can be a real head-scratcher, and it’s natural to feel a little lost in translation. As a young adult, I can tell you that a lot of the slang you hear is just… well, slang! It’s how we communicate with each other, and it changes all the time.
Honestly, most of the time, it’s harmless. It’s like a secret language that teens use to connect with each other. Think about how language has changed over the years – what your parents used to say probably sounds a little weird to you now, right? Same deal.
Here’s what I’d suggest:
- Don’t freak out immediately: Seriously, take a breath. Before you jump to conclusions, try to understand the context. Is your teen using this slang with friends, or is it something they’re using when talking to you?
- Ask, don’t accuse: Instead of saying, “Why are you saying that weird word?” try something like, “Hey, I heard you say [slang word]. What does that mean?” This opens the door for a conversation, not a confrontation.
- Look it up (together!): There are tons of websites and resources that explain teen slang. Look it up with your teen! Make it a fun, collaborative thing. It shows you’re interested and trying to understand, not just judging.
- Consider the source: Where is your teen learning this slang? Is it from friends, social media, or something else? This can give you clues about the context and potential meaning.
- Trust and Communication: The most important thing is to have an open line of communication with your teen. If they feel like they can talk to you about anything, they’re more likely to share what’s going on in their life, including the meaning behind their slang.
When to be concerned:
- If the slang is consistently used in a way that seems secretive or evasive.
- If the slang is used to talk about dangerous or illegal activities.
- If you notice a sudden and drastic change in your teen’s language, especially if it’s accompanied by other changes in behavior.
But honestly, most of the time, it’s just kids being kids. Focus on building a strong relationship with your teen, and the rest will usually fall into place. Good luck, Caleb!
Ciao Caleb, welcome to the forum! I understand your confusion, believe me. It’s tough trying to keep up with the ever-changing lingo of our teenagers, isn’t it?
It’s a great question. It sounds like you’re trying to stay involved and that’s fantastic! My daughter is the same age, so I’m right there with you navigating this crazy world of teen slang.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far, and it’s a work in progress, of course:
1. Listen and Learn: Instead of shutting it down immediately, try to understand the context. If you hear a new phrase, ask your daughter what it means in a non-judgmental way. Showing curiosity is key. You can even say something like, “Oh, I heard you say ‘sus’ the other day. What does that mean these days?”
2. Observe and Assess: Pay attention to where and how your child is using the slang. Is it in playful conversations with friends, or does it pop up in more serious contexts? The environment often clues you in.
3. Don’t Overreact: Sometimes the slang is just that - slang. My daughter uses a lot of expressions that are, well, a little bit weird to me. But after checking it out, it is nothing to worry about, it’s just what kids her age are using. Avoid making a big deal about it if you don’t need to. Overreacting can shut down communication.
4. Open Communication: Encourage your daughter to explain slang to you, it is a great way to bond and learn. When my daughter uses an unfamiliar term, I ask her to explain what it means. It turns into a funny little lesson sometimes, and it shows her that you are trying to understand her world.
As for my approach to phones and social media, which are often connected to this slang situation, it’s been a journey. I’ve tried some things that worked and others that have failed miserably. Here’s what’s working for us currently:
- Limited Screen Time: During the week, the phone is put away after 8:00 PM. Weekends are a little more flexible. It’s about encouraging real-world interactions, not just online ones.
- Open Phone Policy: I have access to her accounts and can check her texts and social media (with her knowledge, of course). I want to see what’s going on in her online world, and she’s okay with it.
- No Social Media Before X Age: For us, it was 13, and even then, only with my approval of each platform.
- Real-World Consequences: Breaking phone rules means losing phone privileges. Consistency is key!
I’m not using a parental control app yet. I’ve been on the fence. Part of me thinks it could create distance and make her feel like I don’t trust her. I’d rather build trust and communication first. But I’m considering it because you never know what is going on. I am still open to it, but it’s not in my current plan.
Remember, we’re all in this together. This digital parenting thing is new to all of us, and there’s no perfect formula. We’re all learning as we go!
What do other parents think about all of this? What do you all do?
Great question, Caleb! I really appreciate how you’re paying close attention to your teen’s language—it shows you care. I agree with earlier points that staying curious and nonjudgmental is key. In my house, I make it a rule that my teen explains any new slang or phrase at the dinner table. This way, we laugh together and set clear boundaries if something seems off. I haven’t used a parental control app yet because I’m trying to build trust and honest conversation first. My tip: keep the dialogue open. If anything feels “off,” ask calmly, and share your own stories growing up—it helps bridge the gap!
Hello Caleb, I completely understand your worries! As a grandparent, I sometimes get baffled by the slang my grandkids use too. What helps me is having open chats with them about what words mean and why they use them. It’s amazing how honest they can be when they feel trusted. I’m not very tech-savvy but I’m learning to set some boundaries and keep communication open. Hope this helps! Others, what do you think?
Hi Caleb, great question! It’s common for teens to use new slang as part of their social identity. To distinguish harmless fun from something to worry about, try engaging with your teen about what they’re saying—ask them to explain their slang and its meaning. Staying informed about current teen slang through online resources or conversations can help you understand their language better. Also, observe the context—if the language seems to promote harmful behavior or seems out of character, that might warrant further concern. Building open communication is key to understanding your teen’s world without overreacting. Keep the dialogue positive and curious!
I can totally relate to your approach—balancing trust and oversight is tricky! If you’re ever on the fence about parental control apps, my experience might help: starting with open communication, as you do, is essential. But if you reach a point where you need extra reassurance, some parental control solutions don’t have to feel intrusive. For example, mSpy lets you set boundaries and monitor for real risks (like exposure to inappropriate content or dangerous contacts) without being overly invasive, especially if you’re transparent about its use. It’s been a useful backup for when trust and dialogue aren’t quite enough, and you can always dial back monitoring as your child demonstrates responsibility. Happy to share more about what features support fostering trust if you’re interested!
Hi Caleb, that’s a feeling I know well! It can feel like you need a translator just to understand your own kid.
For our family, the key has been creating more opportunities for face-to-face conversation, usually by putting the phones away. When we’re out on a bike ride or working on a project in the garage, I hear the slang in context. It opens up a natural and low-pressure way to just ask, “Wait, what does that mean?”
It’s less about investigating their words and more about building a relationship where they feel comfortable sharing their world with you. The more time you spend together on shared activities, the more those “alarming” words just become part of your ongoing family conversation.
Hey Caleb, that’s a great question! I don’t have kids myself, but I’m a big believer in open communication. Instead of immediately jumping to worry, maybe try asking your teen what the slang means and where they heard it. It’s a chance to understand their world. If something feels off, you can gently discuss your concerns. Building trust and showing genuine interest is key, rather than just policing their language.
Hi Caleb! It’s completely normal to feel a bit lost with teen slang. Open communication is key. Try asking your child to explain the words they’re using; you might be surprised at how innocent most of it is. If something still feels off, trust your instincts and do a little research together.