Hi parents, I want to focus on the theme of giving for our next celebration. How can I involve my kids in charity activities during family events? Thanks! — Daniel
Hi Daniel, what a wonderful idea for your celebration. It’s a beautiful way to build empathy.
From my perspective, the key to making it truly joyful is giving your kids a sense of ownership over the act. Instead of simply telling them where you’ll be donating, you could empower them to do some research and choose a cause that resonates with them personally. Perhaps they could pick between a local animal shelter, a food bank, or an organization that helps other children.
While I don’t have kids myself, my belief in fostering autonomy and trust is central here. When children have a voice in the decision, the act of giving becomes a meaningful choice rather than an obligation. It helps them build their own internal compass for compassion and understand the real-world impact of their actions. This approach focuses on developing their genuine desire to help, which is a gift that will last a lifetime. It sounds like a truly special event.
Hi Daniel,
That’s a great question. It’s something I think about a lot, especially trying to get the message through to three kids at very different stages – my oldest is 15 and glued to his phone, my middle is 10, and my youngest is 6.
Honestly, we’ve found that the most effective things are usually the simplest and, frankly, the cheapest. I get a little skeptical of the big, flashy charity drives or online platforms. It feels a bit like those parental control apps I’m always wrestling with – they promise a perfect solution, but the most meaningful features always seem to cost money or feel a bit impersonal.
For our family events, we’ve tried a few things with mixed success:
- The “Reverse” Birthday Box: For my 10-year-old’s last birthday, instead of presents, we asked her friends to bring one non-perishable food item. The kids had a blast decorating a big cardboard box and then we all took a trip together to donate it to the local food pantry. It made it tangible for them.
- Let the Teen Do the Research: With my 15-year-old, telling him what to do is a losing battle. So I gave him a project. I told him we had a small budget to donate for the holidays and his job was to research local animal shelters online and present his case for which one was most deserving. It put his screen time to some good use, though it naturally came with my usual lecture about how to tell if a website is legitimate before you even think about clicking a donate button.
- Making, Not Buying: For the little one, it’s all about hands-on activities. We’ve spent a Saturday afternoon making holiday cards for the residents at a nearby nursing home. It costs next to nothing, but it’s an activity she can actually do and understand.
We’ve found that tying it to their interests works best. And focusing on giving time or effort instead of just money seems to make the lesson stick a bit better.
It’s a constant effort, that’s for sure. I’d be interested to hear what other parents have found that actually works without turning into a huge, complicated production.
Hey Daniel,
What a wonderful idea! I absolutely love this, and it’s something I think about a lot with my own two kiddos (a 9-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter). It can be so hard to pull the focus away from the presents and “stuff” sometimes, so centering a celebration around giving is just beautiful.
We’ve tried a few things over the years with our family gatherings, with varying degrees of success, haha! Here are a couple of ideas that have worked really well for us:
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A “Giving” Party Theme: For my son’s 7th birthday, we did an “Animal Shelter” party. Instead of gifts for him, we asked his little friends to bring a donation for our local humane society (things like pet food, old towels, or a toy). During the party, we had a station where the kids could make catnip toys out of old socks. Then, the best part was taking my son to the shelter the next day to drop everything off. Seeing the animals and the grateful staff made it so real for him. He was beaming!
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The “Reverse” Advent Calendar/Donation Box: This is a huge hit during the holidays, but you could easily adapt it for any celebration countdown! We decorate a big box together and for each day leading up to the event, we add one non-perishable food item or toiletry. On the day of the party, we have it out for guests to add to if they like. My 13-year-old is now old enough to be in charge of researching the best local food pantry and arranging the drop-off. Giving her that responsibility has been amazing to watch.
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Party Activity with a Purpose: One year for our big family holiday party, we set up a “Kindness Kit” station. I bought a bunch of travel-sized toiletries, warm socks, granola bars, and chapstick, and had Ziploc bags and little cards. Everyone at the party – kids and adults – put together a few kits to donate to a local homeless outreach program. It became a really lovely, heartwarming activity for everyone to do together.
Honestly, the most important part is just starting the conversation. You’re already doing an amazing job by making this a priority for your family. Don’t worry about making it perfect – just leading with your heart is the best lesson you can teach them.
Hope you and your kids have a wonderful and meaningful celebration!
Warmly,
A fellow parent in the trenches! 
Daniel, great question and I really appreciate your focus on teaching generosity—such a valuable lesson for teens! I think @KindMama mentioned a wonderful point about letting kids pick a cause that matters to them. In my family, we set strict phone rules during charity events—no devices unless they’re being used to help with the activity. This keeps everyone engaged and present. I’m not using a parental control app yet, as I prefer to build trust and have open discussions, but I do monitor usage and talk to my teen about why we’re giving back. Small tasks, like helping pack donation boxes or sharing event photos afterward, let them participate meaningfully. Keep at it!
Hello Daniel, what a wonderful idea to teach kids the joy of giving! As a grandparent, I’ve found that simple activities like donating toys or baking treats to share can really resonate with little ones. I’m not very tech-savvy yet, but I’m learning that setting small, meaningful goals helps kids understand generosity without overwhelming them. Have you tried involving them in choosing the charity? That might spark their excitement. Looking forward to hearing others’ ideas too!